Caught in the storm, battered by waves, the ship of my life blown off course by the wind of selfishness and pride. 
Now my breath rises within, the breath of the heart, sweet breath.
The sacred breath leads me within. 
The winds have died down the water is calm.
I have found a haven for my heart in the harbor of your name. 

- Krishna Das 

I awoke at 5.30am and practiced yoga as the beginning to my 14 hour work day. You'd think dawn patrol on my yoga mat would leave me feeling drained and tired but I swear I only felt lightness throughout the day. 
Usually a stoic for a cuppa tea and breakfast the moment my eyes are open, I've been pleasantly surprised by how much more fulfilling my food and tea taste, when I practice yoga on an empty stomach first thing. 

I imagine this is how dawn patrol surfers feel when getting a session in before their 9-5. It's magical being up that early and dedicating yourself to meditation whether that is on your board or your mat. 

Its funny as one door closes another ones open. Yoga has been my open door this week I inquired about teacher training and the reply I got was:

'It must be meant to be, a student deferred until next year so there is a space for you,' 

I can't believe in the short time I've had to withdraw from the occupational therapy course and process this change, I've already progressed to feeling happy with the outcome and even better I've returned to my yoga which is bursting with opportunity. 

Best of all the Land Locked surfers are due to meet again, this time we're going all the way up to Scotland for some wild camping and (hopefully) surfing with Dolphins over at Pease Bay. EXCITED doesn't even cover it. 

If you have some time over 23-26th August why don't you meet us there? 

Until next time 
Stay strong, Surf well
Love

 Do you ever feel like your body is just something you use to cart around your brain? Yeah me too...and I'm getting tired of feeling disconnected. I'll be honest with you, these last few days I've retreated from my blog because I've felt uninspired and have needed time to recuperate. I've spent a lot of time nestled in the arms of Mr Sunny or getting bunny cuddles from Bruh and have emerged from my hibernation determined that my mantra in life is not going to be 'I'm rushing.' 

I was starting to validate myself through external factors i.e. going to university, living by the ocean, instead of cultivating the internal landscape which is the true root to happiness. How can I call myself a surfer if I don't live by the sea? The eternal question of the land locked surfer has been causing me angst...but surely those of use constrained by urban dwelling, who chose to escape to the beach are perhaps, in some ways, even more dedicated to surfing because they discovered it in a context with multiple other distractions?? 

Yoga is something I always come back to, I'm toying with the idea of teaching it full time but don't want to make any rash decisions in the aftermath of the last few weeks. So I've decided to set myself the '40 day challenge.' I'm going to immerse myself in yoga sequence, six days a week to embark on a journey to hear myself again and truly unearth whether I am dedicated enough to inspire others through the postures. Here's my schedule:    

I'm going to retreat, rebuild and recreate and maybe at the end of this not only will I be reconnected to myself, yoga might unveil itself as being a possible new path in life...or at the very least gotten me in wave shape! 

If you decide to take part in the 40 day yoga challenge, leave a comment here and let me know of your progress. You can follow me on instagram @sophia_cant_surf for yoga related posts. You'll also probably see a lot of pictures of this fella...

Until next time, stay strong and surf well! 
Love

The little things.

 Forget being a cat lady, I'm full blown bunny mad...having Bruh around has made me wonder how I ever lived without him. He's had a profound effect not just on myself, but on the man fellow too. I won't be embarrassing said man fellow by digressing too much, but I will say that Bruh's been getting a hell of a lot of cuddles and consideration (not just from me)! 

Pets help you remember to be compassionate and show you how much joy can be sought from the little things in life. My blog, with its few followers might be considered in some circles as a little thing, but like a lot of simple pleasures its yielding big rewards. I'm not being sponsored, or endorsed, neither am I raking in the money. Instead I'm connecting with like minded individuals and getting help from people I would never have had the opportunity to meet otherwise. 

I'd like to thank Kirsty Hill from the wonderful Tales of a Land Locked Surfer Girl for reminding me to stay positive and not get caught up in the details. Thank you! 

Until next time
Stay strong, surf well 

The funny thing about time.

It amazes me that in the space of 1 day I lost everything and at the same time gained so much. Yesterday I discovered that I won't receive the funding for my Occupational Therapy course, which means the dream of going to study up in Saltburn (surfing beach) is pretty much void. There are some funds available but not enough to cover living expenses. I wouldn't just be 'student poor' I'd be struggling to cover my basic needs, which is no environment to be growing and learning within. 

I've always believed that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and everything happens for a reason. So it came as no surprise that all this drama unraveled exactly when I was bringing Bruh my gorgeous new bunny home.  I've always had a connection with animals it originated way back when I was little and is a big reason why I chose to lead a vegan lifestyle. Bruh has come into my life exactly when I needed him to, when the distraction of something alive and in need of my care would help me work through what the hell I'm supposed to do about my professional life.
(What professional life)?! 

What's even more remarkable is the effect Bruh has had on my boyfriend Mr Sunny. Having never owned a rabbit before Mr Sunny has been amazed at Bruh's inquisitiveness and good personal hygiene! Even I, a veteran rabbit owner, have been lost for words over how confident and affectionate Bruh is having only been with us literally for a few days. Yesterday we all fell asleep in the living room, Mr Sunny on the floor, me on the sofa and Bruh stretched out sleeping like he hadn't a care in the world. I say this tentatively but we feel like a little gang, us against the world. 

On the way over to go collect Bruh when I was worrying about what to do regarding University, Mr Sunny mentioned how impressed he was when I led an impromptu yoga session in Newquay. He's pretty good at investing in people and reckons he could see I had massive potential to do this as a career. Yoga has always been my safe place and other than going to teach it at surf camps I never really considered it a full time thing. 

The next few days I'm going to take stock and try not to make any big decisions. Now's the time for reflection and enjoying what I have right now. Here's some local photos which are reminding me to stay positive.

I may not have the best paid job in the world but I get to work with awesome people like these pair!

This is me and Jack (the parents dog) post run, he's cantankerous, grumpy and unsociable but he's still my favorite running buddy.

This photo is called 'fresh Birmingham' I love mooching around the local market buying anything from Coriander to Ackee.

Mr Sunny took this photo out in his garden, one of my favorite places out in the world.

 Until next time, 

Stay strong and surf well 
Love


 

Bruh.

//Hectic Bruh//

South African surfer slang depicting the condition of a wave to a fellow surfer 'bruh' also known as brother. 

In 7 days I'll be bringing Bruh bunny home (he's the first rabbit on the left). Like much of 2014 Bruh is a bit of a twist in the tale which has turned out to be for the best. This year I wasn't supposed to meet someone and fall in love but I did, I was going to live by the ocean and get a dog. Instead I'll be living in Middlesbrough (twenty minutes away from my favorite surf spot)bwith a house bunny named Bruh and functioning within a long distance relationship. 

Sometimes life turns you on your head but the results of this can be a massively positive thing. My life is very much up in the air at the moment, I'm still waiting to confirm whether I am in receipt of the scholarship (which is my yay or nay for even being able to attend university) and as of yet I have nowhere to live when I do move up North. Its reminded me of the disarray I felt graduating university for the first time and has inspired me to knock together a little article for all you grads.  

...But first, to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside here are some pictures of bunnies <3 

         





































































Sophia's Average Guide to Graduating. 
(if it was graded it would probably be a solid 2:2...with prospects). 

Graduated: 
1. in stages divided into regular steps 
2. marked with lines to enable measurement 
3. finance describes a system of taxation under which those with the greatest income or assets pay the highest percentage of tax

When I graduated university I literally wanted to kill myself, which I think you'll agree is a pretty extreme reaction to a life transition. There was other, rather serious and personal stuff going on alongside the momentous occasion of graduating but the impending future, one devoid of concessions, cut price rent and lectures was a future infinitely terrifying to me. 

In the space of a week I lost my boyfriend (we broke up , I didn't misplace him), my uni friends, my independence and my identity. Crying myself to sleep in the single bed of my childhood room the question of 'what now,' kept me awake for many nights there after. Remember the financial crisis? 
Yeah. So I graduated that year. 

My life began to resemble a spaghetti western where living at home felt like time in the sheriffs office, tumble weed down a deserted street represented my social life and show downs were between me and employers, my CV being my (useless) weapon of choice. 

4 years on I'm in a minimum wage job in a completely different sector, still living at home with my parents and about to go to University for the second time....Life if Mucking Afazing!! I'm not what society would call conventionally successful but I have achieved happiness so without further ado here's my 2 cents about surviving graduation. 

YOU ARE A PERSON NOT A STATISTIC. 
Repeat that mantra until you value yourself above the grade achieved. You go to university to get an education but you don't become knowledgeable until you've lived a bit. University is a bit like being in a greenhouse where all variables are controlled and you exist in an idyllic controlled environment. Life outside of the greenhouse is harsh cold and infinitely more difficult but you are closer to the sky and you'll actually feel the rain instead of just getting wet. Whatever grade you got remember it represents such a tiny proportion of who you are, the same as a job doesn't define you its just something you do. 

DO SOMETHING. 
It doesn't matter whether what you chose to do is backpacking round Thailand or bag packing in your local supermarket just do something which is non university related for a while to either earn money or see some things. Not everyone in this world is university educated and its important to meet these people. Its difficult to know your purpose straight after graduating but doing something with your time, whether its a little part time job or travelling will help you learn somethings about yourself which may just help you decide. 

ACCEPT THAT INTERNSHIPS ARE MODERN SLAVE LABOR AND THAT THEY WONT GUARANTEE YOU A JOB. 
Despite this, internships are wonderful opportunities to understand the industry you want to get into and offers you the chance to network. You'll make tea, get bored and question whether humanitarian work/journalism/accountancy/law etc etc is what you really want to do. Whatever your role make it your mission to EXCEL, go the extra mile, work hard because regardless of the outcome you'll get into the habit of putting your all into what you do which is infinitely good karma my dears. 

GO SURFING. 
It was as a listless graduate that I decided to try surfing which not only stopped me from topping myself but also opened up a whole new world....a blog for a start, life long friends, health and above all happiness. Surfing was something out of the academic arena, one free from judgement and pressure, which gave me the opportunity to 'come back to myself' in the words of Doc Pascowitz it 'recreated me.' You need a break from endless job applications, the stress of not knowing what direction to go in life and surfing is the perfect antidote to that. 


APPLY. 
See the perfect job? Then apply. Sounds simple doesn't it. I found myself often put off by job specifications thinking I couldn't possibly fit all the criteria....but here's the thing...no one does. Think of job adverts like lonely heart ads, your never going to see, 

SEEKING...
A mediocre person, average looking, who will contribute the absolute bare minimum to the relationship and provide no opportunities for personal growth or happiness. XOXO

Employers use the job spec as a wish list and hope that applicants might hit a few, so apply to everything that tickles your fancy, makes you giddy with excitement or offers you some kind of opportunity. Whilst your busy waiting for your dream job, apply to everything else inbetween. I'm talking shop work, bar tending roles, waitressing, anything that keeps you busy and gives you the opportunity to earn some money. (Just avoid prostitution, THOSE gumtree ads and becoming an assassin). 

F*@% FACEBOOK 
Checking your fb account twenty times a day is going to remind you that people are out there LIVING THEIR LIVES and once more they'll be living infinitely happier, more fulfilling lives which are better than yours...Nah not really, everybody projects the best version of themselves on facebook, its natural as who wants to show the boring mundane aspects of their lives?! Not me! Don't worry about the hype, or get caught up in show boating, just go placidly amidst the noise and the haste. Your life has meaning and its exciting purely because its all yours. 

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. 
After university I worked in a health shop selling 'horny goat weed' to frustrated husbands, I was a youth leader with refugee kids, lived in Senegal at Ngor Surf camp teaching Yoga, did humanitarian work in Ethiopia, was a waitress for about a week, got rejected from hundreds of jobs, set up the land locked surfers club becoming a blogger in the process and fell in and out of love more times than I care to admit. But hey, that's my story and you'll have your own winding version which will seem chaotic and confusing but will be a massive learning curve. As the saying goes....enjoy the ride. 

Until next time
Stay strong and surf well 
Love

Days & Nights.

Bleary eyed from a night shift I hauled my weary ass out of bed and forced my eyes to adjust to the light. Night shifts have a habit of making me look at life in a different perspective, suddenly today I had the urge to go see my garden, the beautiful garden of my childhood home and gaze at it with a renewed sense of wonder. 

Even though my heart is with the ocean, aren't gardens the most special places in the world? Especially the ones where you grew yourself... 

Taking inspiration from my childhood, I think I may adopt a bunny as my soon to be new pet. I cannot tell you the joy I had as a kid wandering each morning up the garden to go cuddle our rabbits 'French, Bella and Popeye,' letting them out to stretch their legs. 

Simple pleasures. 

Until next time 

Stay strong, surf well 
Love

Left of my pillow.

 Left of my pillow is where sunshine goes after dusk and where he stays before rising early (always before me)! I nickname him Mr Sunny because he makes me feel like everyday is summer, I'm only light and health in his presence (...and that dear blog reader, is the restrained version of how he makes me feel)! 

This ordinary poet wants to utilize big fancy words and pretty sentences to try and encompass how much I love this man, but well, I have a habit of writing big declarations and then getting a good kick in the arse if/when it goes wrong! 

So let me just say this instead. 

I feel happy in a 'guilty for my good fortune' kind of way, like I can't quite believe my luck. I've done the sobbing into my pillow, the so angry I want to scream and the reckless running away to foreign soil...The pain, the humiliation, the being alone and frustration has all accumulated to being able to appreciate a good thing I have going on now. 

Dear reader, we don't need someone to lead fulfilling, enriched lives, we have ourselves for that but its nice when you can share the passing of time with someone who makes everyday feel like paradise.  

You may have noticed I'm a bit of a soppy cow on this here blog and if your a regular reader you'll recall that I have previously talked openly about past loves. I like to be transparent, what you see is what you get with me so although I cringe when I reread about how gushy I've been about an ex I see it as an honest reflection of a young woman trying to find something everlasting. 


Yesterday he talked about us waking up together and going surfing. The grin this statement caused could have stretched from London to New York I cannot tell you! He doesn't have to be a good surfer, heck he doesn't even have to like it, just the fact that Mr Sunny wants to wholeheartedly give it a go is good enough for me. 

Today I went thrifting...

It seems funny to call what I do 'thrifting' as its always just been 'charity shopping,' to me and my folk. Thrifting sounds so trendy and purposeful whereas what I do is rummaging and hoping! I wanted my clothes to reflect how happy I was feeling today so I decided to wear this tribal vintage number (from the 80's I believe). I'd bought it originally as something to sell on but like everything I've purchased with this intention its ended up on my back! Dress £10 from Oasis Market, Birmingham UK. 

I don't usually hyperventilate about wedding dresses as its not something I've ever really thought about (i.e. getting married) but this beautiful 60's/70's number took my breath away. 

More bounty from my charity shop spree, I got these two vintage cushions for silly cheap and this beautiful seashell themed illustration for my growing surf wall. Can't wait to get this into the new place and style it up! 

I'm enjoying immensely the accumulation of bits and bobs for my new pad (wherever and whatever it may be). I'm still up in airs about whether I can live right by the sea (Saltburn) or get a place slightly further away to keep costs down. The sensible side of my brain keeps telling myself its ok to not be on the beach front...even if I'm 40 minutes away by public transport that's better than being three hours away in either direction, like my current land locked status!  

Speaking of sensible, I'm having to put getting a dog on the back burner for a while as my life is so changeable right now and it wouldn't be fair on an animal such as a dog. I am however so bursting with love and compassion that a pet is still on the cards, right now I'm dithering between a rat, bird, ferret, bunny or guinea pig. Not sure what to opt for just yet but I'll do my research and hopefully have a blog mascot in the not so distant future! 

Until next time water babies

Stay strong, surf well
Love