HappyThankYouMorePlease

 I'm drawing, the music is on and I'm feeling inspired. 

This week my muses are:

Occasionally you watch a film which changes you just a little bit - This is one such film. I loved it with all my heart and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

(Yes Antonio be smug you picked a good film)!

One of the central themes is fostering and I admit the thought of being a foster parent has caused some deep thinking within me. At twenty three, living with my parents and childless, I hardly seem the ideal candidate but then again...

 One of the refugee youths I've spoken to told me about being fostered and it really has intrigued me. I want to contribute to the world in some way but haven't found my nicche.

 I have energy and creativity so why not fostering?

There are lots of reasons against it but I suppose you only need one good reason to do anything. Hmmmm.

       

Lana Del Rey intrigues me, her sound, her style, the way she articulates herself she's utterly compelling.

 Having heard all of about 15 minutes of her album in my best friend's car, I was enthralled enough to check her out on youtube. I then watched the video to 'National Anthem' and was completely hooked. 

<3 Lana Del Rey

So onto Dogue De Bordeuxs'

Not the most obvious choice for a main character (or to follow Lana Del Rey for that matter) but the dogue de bordeux is my latest muse. I love drawing their expressive faces and am developing a zine/children's book with one as the hero.

Watch this space.

Until next time darlings, stay inspired

Peace, love and all that jazz

<3 

 

The Art of Failure

'Chronic Dissatisfaction' is a phrase coined in Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona, which describes feelings of restlessness and fatigue we all experience from time to time. Our lives in the West are defined by a constant striving, for wealth, status, good relationships or the latest must have frivolity and despite our everyday routines being easier than ever, our society is plagued by difficulties of an interior nature. We have time and scope for the tenant dissatisfaction to take up residence. 

Chronic dissatisfaction is a contagious disease and I admit to having being a recipient of it on numerous occasions. After some life lessons however I've come to regard it as a well camouflaged blessing. I spent the majority of the 2 years after graduation feeling chronically dissatisfied after having a well honed one track mind developed throughout my education, life outside academia felt suddenly desolate. I felt frustrated and inert but it was precisely these feelings which inspired my pursuit of surfing, of quitting my stop gap job and flying to Senegal. I came back tanned and happy and caught the sickness again. I got another stop gap job, found the motivation to go to Ethiopia and in the mean time fell madly in love. 

Chronic Dissatisfaction has been the making of me. 

I am dissatisfied with a society which allows poverty, racism, homophobia and a disregad for nature and other living creatures. This dissatisfaction has propelled me to devote my life to eradicating, as best I can within the walls of my mortality, these things from the world. I must take heed however that my dissatisfaction doesnt sabotage my motivation or god forbid the love of my life. Otherwise it is a blessing in disguise.

Recycling the sh!t life throws at us, using it like fertilizer and cultivating a little understanding can grow dissatisfaction into something actually quite beautiful.

So from a twenty three year old woman whose penniless and still living at home - embrace the dissatisfaction we all experience from time to time and use it to propel you forwards, for you are always moving forwards...

Fighting with the sky.

I found this song on one of my favourite blogs
The Mermaid Chronicles 
Its called Die, Die, Die by The Avett Brothers and just really resonated with me today. 

(P.s. The 'Die' lyric is a singing sound, the song isn't about death)!

She’s fighting with the sky
She thinks she can
Livin’ within a lie
She thinks she can
But nobody knows what lies behind
The days before the day we die
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Die, die, die

She puts her hands against
The life she had
Living with ignorance
Blissful and sad
But nobody knows what lies behind
The days before the day we die
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Die, die, die

You can try to swim the sea
But say goodbye to you and me
You can try to swim the sea
You can try to hold the breeze
You can try to hide the sun
But say goodbye to everyone
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Die, die, die

Perhaps because I'm sat behind a computer screen I feel brave enough to admit that I'm not feeling all that great today. An Iranian refugee I know, told me a little of their life history and its really perplexed me. I moan about frustrations within the parameters of my own life without really knowing a thing about real suffering, of knowing loss and sadness beyond myself.

I'll soon be posting about the residential weekend I had in Yorkshire with the Birmigham refugee youth group. This will explain more about our experiences as a newly formed group and our ambitions for the future.

Meanwhile today the weather is all connotations of the word grey, so perhaps I'm mourning the passing of summer too. Eitherway my mood is unmistakingly melancholy - for now. We all have the power to change our perspectives so I'm going to make a cup of tea, put on some reggae and paint until I'm happy again.

Have sunshine my friends

<3

Apple Trees and Common Spirits

The ability to love and work...
    - Freud's definition of mental health  

Apple love

The apple tree in my garden is abundant with fruit and it is one of my greatest pleasures to go pick the apples out of reach. This simple September routine is solace from the constant uphill struggle of life, of asserting myself in a world where everyone else is trying to do the same. As a twenty something I'm carving my niche, trying to figure out my place in the world - we're all striving for meaning.

In a lunchtime discussion with a colleague at RTC, we mentioned the conflicts between personal life and working in development. Humanitarianism is more a vocation than it is a job, which is why this can inhibit an individuals personal wants for relationships and family. This is one of my greatest concerns, balancing love with work. I place love about everything but I also love my work, it sustains me, motivates me and gives me purpose.

Antonio looking a little like a pub ad.

Antonio and I only yesterday discussed a relief worker job I'd seen which was a 6 month - 1 year placement potentially in any developing country, with training in Switzerland. Antonio is a gnarly, spontaneous kind of person but even so I couldn't expect him to drop everything, his life, his goals, his comfort to go to the back and beyond somewhere. I might jump at the idea of Sudan, The Congo and/or Colombia but they're not every ones ideal destinations!

Antonio helps me live in the moment, he's my agony uncle, my arcade above all my best friend. So to give up on him would be like stabbing myself in the leg - stupid.



Being happy in the canalside cafe



Our differences used to perplex me, how can an artist and a humanitarian survive the contrasts of our professions? In these times where solace is needed I recall the conversation I once had with my good friend Martin, who reminded me that differences are healthy, they give scope and depth to a relationship. What is important is sharing a common spirit, having ideals which overlap.

I look upon the apple tree and let my mind wander about how its a little like my relationship, weathering the elements of life. Sometimes in winter a twig might break but come spring the flowers bloom and the leaves are full again. It is rooted like my love but though stationary it always grows upwards.

I'm determined to nourish a great love AND devote myself to the plight of others.

I believe you can have it all.

Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself.                                         

- Alice Walker

The importance of cooking with love and undressing slowly.

By 3pm I had taken a train to Birmingham and back, cycled for two hours, picked wild blackberries with the family dog (he sniffed) and harvested apples from our garden to make a crumble.

Nom nom bliss!

You see it is a terribly British thing on a day of sunshine to fill it with as much activities as physically possible, for good weather in Britain is kind of like the mating between pandas- rare. I had no guilt therefore having filled my good weather activities quota to watch: 

I've always had a soft spot for Brittany Murphy (R.I.P) she was quirky and different and just a little bit special. In the Ramen Girl, Brittany plays the heroine living in Tokyo, who gets dumped by her American boyfriend (who she followed there). After some crying in the rain scenes she ends up working for a cantankerous Japanese Ramen chef who lives opposite. A cast of quirky characters helps her find solace in the sacred preparations of the traditional Ramen dish and long story short she finds herself (and a super hot Japanese boyfriend...sorry Ant you like red heads, I like Asian boys).

Toshi played by Sohee Park

Its a huggable film, a 100%, feel good factor. Seriously watch it. Well it also inspired a blog post because at the centre of the movie is the relationship we have with our food:

Good feelings and love = Goooood food.

Its this idea that if you emulate the positive whilst preparing a meal and create with spirit rather than technique food, will taste better. Based on absolutely no scientific evidence I am inclined to agree, if I'm stressed or rushing my food and the sole object of me making it is only about consuming it as quickly as possible, then it tends to be bland, burnt or just downright awful.

Food is a big part of my relationship largely inspired by a talk I saw by the editor of Resurgence magazine (an ecological mag)Satish Kumar. He talked about the importance of making bread with his wife, about the romance of preparing food together and how this simple act can sustain a relationship. I am a strong advocate for this principle and one of my biggest pleasures in life is making a meal with Antonio, then sitting at a table to talk and eat and just muse about life together.

Now please excuse the slight tangent...

In one of these teatime discussions Ant made a very profound observation. He talked about the idea that when someone undresses for you before bed its actually quite a sacred ritual, something reserved just for you which should be cherished. Obviously you can't always appreciate someone getting ready for bed because your tired/asleep etc but I do understand the sentiment. When someone is getting naked in your room you should appreciate the moment because its reserved just for you two, a special connection.

Ok enough philosophy - the weathers nice...

Ta Ta!

x

Milestones

And so it begins...

The first of my friends got married on Monday in a wedding which can only be described as incredible.

As a twenty something I know I am still young but it feels an old kind of young, especially as people are entering the next chapters of their lives- engagements, marriage and babies.

One of my old school friends coined the word surreal to describe the whole day and I'm inclined to agree. I remember playing games with Mrs Everall as a snot nosed school kid, so to now see her as someone's wife is just mind boggling.

The wedding symbolised a passing of time that on reflection seemed to happen in a heartbeat.

Naturally being dressed up to the nines and celebrating a whole day of love made me and Ant feel pretty loved up ourselves. Slow dancing with him was a memory I'll cherish forever, I know its soppy and I'm not actually sure how I feel about marriage for myself but yeah - I guess I could be someones wife if I had to be!
Leigh-Anne and Jim (the newly weds) did are the blue print, they met as teenagers, were together for ten years then decided to get married. I think its important to spend that time together before declarations, live together, be a couple in every sense of the word. Learn to be best friends before becoming husband and wife. And that is what Leigh and Jim are best friends who happen to love each other <3  

Look, a big distraction of wedding pictures!

Vintage Dress found on a Norfolk car boot!

 

Beautiful Rowton Castle where Leigh-anne and Jim got married - they even got sunshine!

 The beautiful bride and her old school comrades!

The boyfriends!

My bezzies, L-Viki, Kate and me!

 More bezzies Laura and Viki

 No need for explaination!

 All of us a little worse for wear in the after party!

Two of my favourite things. Antonio and tea.

The happy couple <3

 One of the nicest meals I've ever been to!

 Signing the guest book

The dress in all its glory :)

 Waiting for food :)

 I'd just been told 'wear the camera around your neck, so you don't drop it'

You can't take a hippie anywhere...

So dear readers, (all six of you)! I'm sending you much love and happiness for this week hope you have a good one.

<3

Rags and Narrowboats

I am effervescing with inspiration today.

Call it the post period euphoria, but suddenly life seems saturated in goodness

<3

Here are a few reasons why my little Birmingham bubble is especially lovely.

1. It is the day before my beloved boyfriends birthday and the first marriage from my friendship group - That's a lot of love for one day and well, I'm kind of stoked!

(Pssst. I'm also really excited to slow dance with Antonio wearing a very pretty vintage dress (me) and seeing him looking oh so dashing in a suit. Romantic much...)

Here are some more things that have been making me sunshine happy.

2. I was sat outside the beautiful Canalside cafe in Brindley place which has stoked the fire for finally getting my own boat. Its only a matter of time...

3. I am seriously checking this blog like everyday, I love their style, their ethos and of course their love of vintage!

4. Being as fiscally challenged as I am and having had a wonderful trip around Birmingham's rag market I'm going to get my craft on.
Time to start making my own dresses - if Nanny Pip & Jean do it then so can I!

Darlings, keep loving what your doing, find beauty in the mundane and tell the people you love that you do so!

Peace, good karma and all that jazz

Sophia

X