Seaside Woman.

 













I've been listening to Linda McCartney's Seaside woman on loop. Certain songs seem to speak to you and this one happens to personify my happiness pretty darn well. When happiness is tangible it can seem such an overwhelming, frightening thing because there seems so much more to lose. Its easier to luxuriate in sadness because right there in the darkness with you is hope and possibility. 

I've got an arm wide grin at the moment and I see my life full of opportunities. I've acquired that delicious thing called contentment, a sort of awareness that life is good. Perhaps this mindfulness is present because I have had sadness carve into me and can recognize when to savor the precious moments, I'm just grateful that I'm acknowledging it. I have a gut feeling about 2014 that if I continue to trust my instincts and learn to recognize opportunities I'll tread confidently along my path. 

This week I got two responses from Universities interested in letting me study Occupational Therapy. There are still some hurdles to overcome i.e. scary interviews to try and get through but its a teeny tiny step forward. One university is not a million miles away from Saltburn...so I could be a seaside woman after all! 

I have another something to tell you. Well. Its not really anything yet but it was a little bit of personal growth. I went on a a date. It was terrifying and my thoughts were ten to a dozen but I had that beautiful moment of looking up at someone and feeling like I'd known a stranger all my life. I dare not say anything else on the matter because I don't want to break this fragile feeling of happiness, just that despite my fears and disappointments I trusted my gut instinct and well so far its paid off! Watch this space. 

Pretty things I saw...

Yesterday I went upstairs to grab a hat and fifteen minutes later found myself looking at pit bull type breeds on my local dogs home website?! I honestly don't know how I passed my GCSES when I'm that easily distracted. Anyway, I came across hundreds of dogs needing homes, particularly the ones which are deemed 'dangerous.' I need to move out asap and set myself up so I can finally get my rescue dog, whoever it may be!! 

Until next time, 
Stay strong and surf well
Love 

Warrior two.

Today's music has been compiled by me, hope you enjoy today's surf inspired songs! 

  





































I rose at 5.45am, smiling in disbelief at the ridiculousness of the waking hour. I began my descent down two sets of winding stairs, to the living room where the red rug was pushed back against the sofa in preparation. The dog looked on from his basket uninspired by my movements. Several steadying breaths and then the practice began. Limbs giddy from sleep repelled the stretching but consistent breaths, reaching across and into every nook and cranny, began to appease the muscles. Sun salutation, after sun salutation woke and revitalized me until suddenly I could acutely hear the morning bird song. 

I found my body contorted into warrior two pose, the grounding through my heels, stomach drawn in and arms stretched forward centered me like the unyielding oak tree. 
In meditation I finally silenced my mind enough to hear my instincts, to feel the core of what I am. Yoga continues to be a journey one with steep steps and twisting roads but I relish the challenge it gives both my body & mind and the parallels I draw between yoga and surfing. 

Hit the mat. Grab a board. 

Stay strong, surf well and do yoga. 

Love 

Solo.

 

































Today I forgot my phone. I began to panic and this feeling increased as I realized not only was I phone less, but going somewhere new, to meet someone new. How was I going to navigate this situation without my palm sized resource? 
Its amazing how a relatively new technology has become such an intrinsic part of everyday life for what I would postulate is for most people. 

In actuality my day went unhitched, better in fact. I discovered I had a notebook in my bag, so spent the time I'd usually use texting or looking on instagram to draft blog posts and write a little story. 

Modern life functions through short dialogues but it is the long conversations we exercise during solo contemplation which can bring us the greatest benefits. It was also really lovely to connect to someone without having the gnawing thought of whats happening on my phone to distract me. I believe most of us have been guilty of this, wanting to check your messages/emails whilst trying to maintain a conversation with someone face to face, its an everyday sin. 

Today's disconnecting reinforced my assertion that surfing is as much a tonic for the mind as it is for the body. In the water there is no time to wonder about missed messages, problems yet to be resolved or emails to answer, it is merely you, your board and mother ocean in all her glory. 

Communication is a topic recycled through my head presently as I begin to explore other avenues for dating. I've fallen in love before so I know the feeling, but recently I've begun to wonder about how we maintain these relationships in a reality, where distractions and complications linger with every text, email and social media forum surrounding us? 

I'm always searching for conversation, that wonderful moment of realization when two people synchronize and this blog continues to allow me to embrace this love of dialogue by connecting me to like minded people. Although my romantic aspirations haven't been realized yet (or is too early to tell) I feel enriched as ever by the diversity of people who seek out surfing. 

For today, I challenge you to turn your phone off. Just for a few hours and relax into the new sensation of being unreachable, what will you do with your time? 

Pretty things I saw....

Space.

I'd like to get away from earth awhile

And then come back to it and begin over.

May no fate willfully misunderstand me

And half grant what I wish and snatch me away

Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:

I don't know where it's likely to go better.

I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree,

And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk

Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,

But dipped its top and set me down again.

That would be good both going and coming back.

One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Birches by Robert Frost. 

When I blog the outside world fades into the

background and my inner dialogue comes into focus. Sometimes posts are a conscious

streams of thought, other times they are deep down perspectives which I didn't know I

possessed. I often ponder after posting, whether people dear to me recognize the person I

am, or if this inner voice is some preserved part of me I keep hidden from every day life.

Blogging is a wonderful contemplative record of your life that I fully recommend everyone 

try doing. The commitment it requires ensures you keep small windows of time purely for 

yourself to reflect and be mindful within. For me blogging has been a catalyst for bringing 

about positive change in my life and for teaching me both who I am presently and who I 

aspire to be. In the year and a bit I've been blogging what I thought were random 

nonsensical posts, about pretty much anything, were later decoded and helped put me 

on a path to fulfillment and success. If it wasn't for 'Real Women have curves and 

surfboards' I'd never have established the community club 'The Land Locked Surfers' or 

realized that becoming a support worker and studying towards Occupational Therapy would 

be my calling. 

TRUTH BE TOLD 

My blog has been the quiet listener during the difficult, hard to bear periods of my life. 

It was my solace when I was an unemployed graduate desperately trying to figure out 'what 

to do with my life.' It also helped me painfully conclude that relationships weren't working 

and nursed me through those dark days of getting over a break up. There were moments 

when I felt my life wasn't interesting enough, or I'd have the continued conversation in my 

head of 'how can a land locked city girl possibly write a surf blog?' Blogging has connected me 

to people I'd never have the opportunity to befriend and this process continues to restore 

my faith in human beings. 

MINDFULNESS 

My dear friend Jemima recently said during one of our late night phone calls that surfing is 

the only pastime where she's able to be mindful. In her wonderful Northern sense of 

humor, she described how the concentration required to not have a wave crash on her head 

meant she's not thinking about problems, or daily issues but living fully in the moment. 

Much like surfing blogging has this great cathartic effect of keeping you honed and focused 

on your own inner voice. 

OCEAN 

Just like the ocean, the online community is a diverse ecosystem, where individuality is 

welcomed. Throughout my blogging experience I have felt like a little fish swimming in the 

big blue, but just like the tiny plankton seems minuscule next to the big, blue whale we all 

have purpose and importance no matter how small we are. Through my blog I have had the 

pleasure of getting to know some truly wonderful people a symptom of blogging I'm 

eternally grateful for. 

As ever thank you for reading, it always means a lot. I hope you find your space. 

Until next time stay strong and surf well 

Love

Personhood.

This post does have a point and it will make sense, but for now I'm weaving together lots of different colored threads in the hope that I create something tangible. 

So. Beyonce. 

Love her or hate her she's done a wonderful thing creating a visual album. I can't tell you how great it was to have that excitement again of going to an actual store, buying a physical CD and then racing home to listen/watch it. I sound like a mega fan but I have so much love for a woman whose managed to follow her passions and done so whilst having a family - love her or hate her she's an innovator! 

People have openly criticized the album for its raunchiness but having actually listened to what Beyonce had to say for herself and the context of it, I felt like her actions were justified. Beyonce is all about art and concepts, her song Partition which has some scenes of her dancing provocatively, also has her husband sat in the video. She's saying to the world she loves her husband, she has a sexual side and she gets to express that in a very creative outlet. 

Do we talk so excessively about male singers who have their shirts off in videos or dance proactively (I'm talking to you Jason Derluo)? No. 
So my argument is why vilify one woman and use her actions as the break down of feminism, when one woman cannot possibly represent every female on this planet? The context of Beyonce's album suggests a grown woman exploring all connotations of what she thinks make her a female, mother, singer, wife, sexual being and expressing that in the medium she knows how. 

To be a feminist I don't think you need to suppress your sexual side or apologize for having body parts. Feminism has so much baggage attached to its meaning but this is what it means to me. I'm happy, I like men, I like women, I think we should be treated equally and our differences celebrated. I think women should wear what they want, dance how they want and I think men should be able to do the same. 

Ok. Next topic. Decisions. 

I recently attended a training day on 'The Mental Health Capacity Act' for work encountered the following phrase: 

'Decisions are your freedom' 

Some of the people I care for in my job role, for numerous reasons, do not have the capacity to make decisions and understand the consequences of their choices. So how in this situation do I maintain their dignity, respect their rights as individuals and ensure that the quality of care I provide is compassionate, understanding and above all respectful? Its a moral and ethical dilemma, as some circumstances require 'best interest' strategies which means going against the person's choice in order to protect them for the greater good. Like I said it is an ethical and moral dilemma. 

The whole day made me reflective about the decisions I have to make this year. What I realized is that there is no right and wrong way when it comes to picking paths, the universe is unfolding as it should and you have to just live through the consequences. Every decision you make is an opportunity to learn from so don't worry if it seems imperfect initially. 

Right I've got to go, there is Salsa dancing to prepare for (all part of my Spanish plan). 

Pretty things I saw...(Along a Latin theme because I'm obsessed)! 

   

  



































Until next time, 

Stay strong and surf well
Love

Senorita.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

Frieda Kahlo    

           

 

The painting is called Carlotta and is by Wilma Johnson a.k.a Surf Mama! 

Due to the frequency of hearing the question 'are you Spanish?' I have developed something of a soft spot for Latino culture and especially Latino actresses. The likes of Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz frequently play characters who embody all connotations of femininity, whilst exuding a free spirited persona - I love a multifaceted, strong female lead! 

Recently I watched soppy 90's comedy 'Fools rush in,'  which uses Mexican culture as a central theme. There were some cliches, which I wonder what the Latino community feel about, but as an English girl far away from either South America or Spain, I loved the style and artistic nature of Salma Hayek's character Isabel. 

Its made me curious about Spanish surfer girls, whats the terrain and culture like for them? I'm aware of exceptionally good Peruvian and Portuguese surfers but I struggle to think of other equivalents. I wonder if this is due to ignorance and is the surf community inclusive to our Latino sisters? 

Alongside the strong female leads was style and decor that I absolutely adored. Its inspired me to collate images along a Spanish, Bohemian theme which will be in a future post. Its also motivating me to perhaps try and learn Spanish and salsa dancing. Why not?! New Year is an opportunity to remind ourselves to grow our branches up and out into the world. 

Spanish surf trip perhaps?? 

A few things for this week...

So. What do you reckon? Do I look a teeny tiny bit Spanish? 

 My compliant sister took a 'style' photo in the Thursday sunshine! 

Being early for the train I couldn't resist looking round one of my favorite vintage shops...I ended up buying this Mexican style dress, turquoise scarf and I got the red one for free! 

 

I love that my dog refuses to let me be too much of a poser, look at him totally stealing the spotlight! Below are scenes from my city, sometimes I think I like it. 

 

Above is a mermaid zine I've been working on and below are art I've collected for my room. 

 Until next time,  

Stay strong and surf well 
Love