Lion Skateboarding.

I said to myself I wasn't going to blog too much around Christmas but then stuff started to happen which I'm dying to tell you guys about! 

My cousin Dekland had seen photos of me skating on my penny board so asked if he could get one for Christmas. He was lucky, he got a beautiful tie dye model which he wanted to show me. Thus I found myself playing outside in the winter sunshine, forgetting that I'm actually 25 and probably should be inside cleaning the dishes away with the adults. 

I started out the day trying to be glamorous this is how I looked: 

(Photos courtesy of my little sister Laura who manages to whip me into shape when it comes to posing properly)!

I swear this was a 'look at the camera Soph' instantaneous shot, its proof my sister is a great photographer as I certainly don't look like this very easily. She just told me what to do and voila I didn't look petrified in front of the lens! 

 

I like wearing clothes more than once this is why I'm recycling my sea leggings, I knew with a pair of heels and a smart jumper they could look snazzy! 

I'm like a drunk baby gazelle when wearing heels but Laura insisted taking photos maybe as proof that occasionally I do wear something other than skate shoes or going bare foot! 

Sorry this isn't supposed to be a shot of my boobs, I've included it because my hair is a rad colour that I've never seen before. Must be a combination of light and camera magic because it hasn't been dyed! 

 Well this look lasted all of about five minutes. I went to visit my family and quickly got bored tottering around in heels not really being able to do much. So I borrowed trainers off my sister's boyfriend Steve and then the fun began! 

Lion Skating (This is a reference to location). 

 

 

This is one of my favorite photos, its my little cousin Tiegan learning how to skate. She was an absolute natural and started picking it up real quick. She also took the majority of these photos she happens to be a really natural photographer, I am a very proud big cousin!

Happy Boxing Day!!! (Or the day after Christmas for anybody else who isn't British)! 

Until next time, 

Stay strong, surf well 

Love 

Hell Yeah!

Lonley surf at beautiful Wategoes from Rest Your Eyes on Vimeo.

Christmas can be a very reflective time and being the author of a blog it's very easy to use it as an excuse to get all wistful. Rather than dwelling on the past or focusing too much on the future I'm writing a 'Hell Yeah' list instead which is a list of all the positive things which have happened this year because I made them happen. 

Sod new years resolutions, Christmas gluttony or feeling bad about the mistakes you've made in 2013. I challenge you to write a 'Hell Yeah' list and if your brave enough to leave it as a comment on RWHCS.

Here are my 'Hell Yeahs!' 

 #1 I surfed...

When I started this blog in 2012 I surfed approximately three times which was about enough instances to get me obsessed. This year I surfed more than imagined for a girl currently living in land locked Birmingham. Not only that but I got other inner city people involved and now I am the proud co founder of The Land Locked Surfers Club. Not bad for a girl who has to travel three hours in any direction to get to ocean. 


 

#2 I grew a vagina...

Not literally of course because, well, I already have one. What I mean to say is that I learnt from my mistakes, endured some hardships but came out fighting. 'Grow a vagina' is the feminsit way of saying 'I grew a pair!' 

#3 I became a blogger...

I'm going to quote my gorgeous sister and fellow blogger Laura here by including an extract from her blog Lipstick and Lashes. Blogging is awesome because of the following:

1. The Freedom: 

One of my favourite things about blogging is the freedom to write exactly what you want. It's not often you are able to say exactly what is on your mind. For a makeup addict like me (thats Laura talking I obviously don't talk about make up, surf though now thats a different story)! It's usually no more than a few rambles about this or that product, i've convinced myself I need. However, some people can use this opportunity to talk about really critical topics which can really help readers going through the same thing.

  

2. The Space: 

'Space' it refers to the idea that a blog is a way to make a stamp on the world wide web. A small way to own a little and make it your own. It struck me as a really lovely idea and one I thought to share.

 

3. The Bloggers:

The main reason I began blogging in the first place is because of other bloggers. The blogging community is full of like-minded girls and boys that are interested in the same things.
 
4. Pride: 

This point probably sounds a little strange but allow me to explain. Blogging has given me a sense of pride over what I've achieved. A blog may not seem like much of an achievement to some, and perhaps they're right, but when I've finished a blog post there's no denying feeling a little proud.

#4 I loved, I liked and I lost. 

For those of you who have been here for the long haul, lets just say my love life has been a bit of a sitcom this year. There has been the protagonist, support cast members and the episode characters but my gosh hasn't it been dramatic! I do not regret a single moment of this 'series' I like to call my life and I feel like every encounter has been an opportunity to know myself and undersatand what I need in any future relationship. My heart is still wide open and although I might flinch I'm not afraid to fall in love again. Bring it on 2014! 

Thank you to all my readers throughout 2013, I cherish your quiet company and wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

Stay strong and surf well 

Love 

 

Great Expectations.

Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.
-Charles Dickens, Great Expectations. 

I love Christmas. I adore the gaudy decorations, the sickly sweet films, the Christmas songs the radio insists on playing all day everyday. I love the excuse to spend time with your family, the careful buying of presents for people you cherish, the obligatory panic buying for the people you hadn't planned on getting anything for. I even love buying a toy for the dog knowing that he's going to be as excited as I feel, when he smells there's a rubber ball wrapped up for him. 

This year I won't be able to do many of my usual traditions because I'll be doing a fourteen hour shift at work. Understandably my initial reaction to this news was one of severe disappointment, I wouldn't be able to share my Christmas with my nearest and dearest. That was until I realized this was my gift. I'm going to spend my day making it special for people who don't have family, or if they do family who can't come and visit them. I'll help make their Christmas dinner and I've spent the last several weeks lovingly buying gifts for them which I'll wrap and reveal to them on Christmas morning. 
In a round about sort of way I think I'll be living the real meaning of Christmas and what's not to love about that?

A poser picture of me by my mom's lovingly decorated Christmas tree!

Being single is always a funny one around Christmas time. That Mariah Carey song plays a million times a day and its difficult to not feel wistful. 

Dear readers, I want to share something with you because in a weird kind of way your almost like friends now. I know that sounds strange but I get a lot of solace writing (almost) anonymously to you... 

Around Christmas a few years ago me and my ex boyfriend, the surfer dude, experienced a great loss, which I suppose has shaped us immensely as people.
On a fairly uneventful day leading up to Christmas he came round my house and told me he was going to America because his father had passed away in a freak accident. Initially the shock of his announcement was so great that I thought he was joking, it was only when his mother came into the room (a lovely woman who I hadn't had the opportunity to properly meet), that I realized that surfer dude was being serious. I had five minutes to console the man I loved dearly, rush to give him his Christmas presents which he'd take with him and say goodbye not knowing how long he'd be in America for. 

For the next month or so I was lonely and powerless. Surfer dude had needed to be fully there in his grief, he was away from communication so I spent my days worrying endlessly about him. Even though I knew he wouldn't reply I wrote to him everyday telling him about little things going on in Cumbria (where I was living at the time) and that I was thinking of him. 

On his return, the immense love and the confusion of the situation made our first encounter awkward. He may has well have been made of glass, I didn't know how to help him or make things better. I now know grief is a process, it takes people time to fully come to terms with their loss. I was trying so hard to fix things that couldn't be mended by my hands alone. 

Around Christmas I always tend to think of surfer dude. We split up a long while ago, I like to think because at the time we hadn't the energy after everything that had happened to us. Along with his loss, I was also caring for someone who was in an out of hospital so pretty engrossed in that, all the while trying to do my dissertation too. At that stage in our lives we needed time for ourselves to heal and come to terms with the chaos around us. 

We are still friends to this day and a part of me will always love him. 

Christmas is funny like that, it has a talent for making you nostalgic. It also is a great time for hope (I know, I know here she goes again going on and on about hope)! Around this time I started talking to my beloved Jemima, we conspired and gossiped about surfing until in our own separate heartbreaks decided to get on a train and go try to surf in Saltburn together. 

The rest they say is history...

 

Until next time, 

Stay strong, surf well 
Love

Sea Glass.

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.” 
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations


 Discarded glass which ends up in the ocean goes through something of a metamorphosis. When at the mercy of the tides the sharp edges get worn smooth leaving a thing of beauty, this gets washed up on the shore and although it is a product of man made disregard, the ocean, she returns it back as something to marvel. 

Lately I've been thinking a lot about hope and how it is good to have expectations. Often optimism is something to be ridiculed, an archaic past time if you will which is for the naive and the ignorant. If you dare to be an optimist then it seems you are vulnerable to the cruelties of the world. 
This is your turn, this is your moment in history and as we never really know how many years we'll be blessed with don't you think it is preferable to live with lightness? 

Today I woke up bone weary from six days of fourteen hour shifts but the sun was shining and I relished the opportunity to make a rare free day wonderful. As aforementioned it has been an arduous week both physically and mentally but I know that with a little hope and expectation I can turn this around. 

I walked around my local park with my Dad and dog stopping to take photos of buildings and trees we always stop to take photos of. Its hardly news worthy but as I stood to watch my Dad take pleasure in reliving a place he knows like the back of his hand, I reveled in the simplicity of it. 

One day in the not too distant future I'm going to live by the ocean, it'll be a place where I can surf when the waves are right. On the flat days I'll walk across the beach and paddle just for the sheer hell of it. I'll stay when winter comes and the holiday makers leave, I'll watch my beach change through the seasons and be thankful when summer returns and the water gets warmer. Some days I'll go to paint what I see and on others I'll take photos. Hopefully I'll fall in love there and one day in the distant future bring up children, or dogs or maybe no children at all, maybe it'll just be me. 

I'll love the beach and my ocean irrevocably and perhaps when I become mere dust and memories I'll return to the sea and become part of the great tides. 

 Until next time...

Stay strong, surf well 
Love 

The Beauty of Sharks Eyes.

Some weeks are sent to test you and this has been one hell of a week. 
My yearning for the ocean has felt like unrequited love, exasperated I'm sure because of the chaos going on around me. 

A constant lesson in life is learning to go with the flow when situations spiral out of your control. There are instances when you can't fix things and you just have to blindly trust that you'll be ok. Whilst still very much in the thick of a bad week I'm trying to remind myself that hardships are the catfish of life, they make you agile, remind you that your alive and eventually make you stronger. 

You see the trouble I have is that one of my greatest strengths is also one of my greatest weaknesses. Ever since I was young I have wanted to please people, whether that be through helping them, being there as a friend or just trying to 'do the right thing.' The problem however is that you can't please everyone and often this is to my own detriment. When I let people down, which I inevitably do because I'm only human, I internalize and agonize over my actions or inaction until I drive myself half crazy. 

Its hard writing today's blog post in that I have to be vague enough to protect myself, which fights against my desire to pour my heart out to you dear readers. I so desperately want to sit down with you all, hand around tea and biscuits and share about how bad this weeks been. Instead I will tell you about small tidbits of everyday life which have helped me keep my chin up. In no particular order:

1) Hearing the Jack Johnson song 'To The Sea,' exactly when I needed to hear, it when my heart was at its heaviest. 

[To The Sea was the song which pretty much stopped me doing something silly and started a thought process which led to surfing which pretty much saved my life. The rest they say is history.] 

2) A service user I care for at the nursing home calling me a friend and hugging me after we spent an afternoon in the park together. We watched seagulls being fed by the lake and laughed as they flew around us like falling confetti. 

3) Work colleagues hugging me unexpectedly when I was lost in my own thoughts and feeling blue. Its funny how they are becoming actually really great friends. 

4) Making fresh wholesome food from scratch, seeing and feeling the benefits on my body. 

5) The Land Locked Surfers Club reminding me that there is always hope and something to strive for. 2014 promises to be another surf filled year. 

6) Having another lovely taxi driver ask me what my ethnicity is, I love being mistaken for being Italian, Romanian or Spanish (I'm as British as a pork pie)! 

7) Feeling loved and appreciated by my family. 

8) Realizing that if people aren't helping me grow, thrive and feel inspired then I have respect enough for myself to look elsewhere. 

Slightly off topic but have you ever looked at a shark's eye up close? 
Recently I've been thinking a lot about sharks especially because next year I'll be surfing in great white territory. I am quite naturally scared but I'm also quietly fascinated. In my current frame of mind sharks are offering me a philosophy. 

Look at self made fears closely because actually you might find them quite beautiful when you dare to examine them. 

I am no one in particular, in a world which barely registers my existence but if I can offer any advice it would be to not be so hard on yourself, edit where you need to edit, improve and initiate positive change but remember that you have your place and you are important. 

Until next time,

Stay strong, surf well 

Love