Letting Go.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. 

The Desiderata 

There is a moment just before standing up, that the roar off the ocean behind you feels overwhelming and you know that unless you commit your going to take a fall. That fear and overcoming it is the difference between riding a wave and wiping out. 

Fear is instinctive and can often be for protective purposes, it is however debilitating and in a non dangerous context problematic. When allowed to, fear can reign over all aspects of your life leaving you cloistered and on the fringes of living. 

I say this knowing fully the depths of my own fear. Generally I wear my soul on my sleeve and have a transparency with my thoughts and actions, I find being open allows me to connect on a much deeper level, strengthening relationships. This occurs in almost all social interactions bar romantic ones. Experience has made graffiti over that transparency and I find myself living in a walled existence. 

Presently I find myself getting to know someone, progressing slowly from first nervous meetings to dating. I'm becoming overwhelmed by the first flushes of romance and more fearful as I start to like this guy. 

In the same way learning to surf is a gradual process, falling for someone is the same slow meandering, 'try as you might' situation. 

So I'm trying to reflect on my surfing and use it as a metaphor in this instance to help me overcome the frustrations with myself. Often I have seen a glimmer of potential in a person and recklessly thrown myself into unsuitable partnerships. This time I'm going to paddle out, learn the way of the water before I take the drop, because once I do I know I'll commit and hopefully ride the wave in... 

Pretty things I saw.

   

 

Until next time, 

Stay strong and surf well 
Love