One Month.

Last night I dreamed of a Newfoundland, you know those big hairy dogs that likes to swim. I dreamed about living by the sea and surfing with this giant of a dog swimming next to me. Then I woke myself up convinced that I was going to persuade my parents to let me have one here in the family home. In my languid half awake state I bumbled over to my bookcase and pulled out all the dog books I owned determined that I needed to do some research before I presented my argument to my folks. 

I must have at some point climbed back into bed and fallen asleep again because I woke up to a blue sky and the conviction that I was going to get a female Newfoundland and call her Sanoe (after Sanoe Lake the Hawaiian surfer girl). 

You see in the aftermath of a relationship your mind is a revolving door of possibilities, with each revolution a new idea steps forward to whirl around for a turn...Naturally this vulnerable state is not the time to be making drastic decisions. 

I know of two seaside places I'd consider living and have been logging onto property sites at regular intervals to check out accommodation  Yesterday I nearly got pierced, I've contemplated chopping off my hippie tresses and my fingers are itching to call someone I probably shouldn't.

Restless it the word. 

The benefit of being this age and still living at home is that I have siblings around me who are more like friends now. My sister Emily made me sit and watch some Sex and the City episodes with her, which we interrupted intermittently to have hearts to hearts. Accompanied by the primal screaming of Samantha in the background Emily told me about the one month rule. 

She told me to wait a month, to sit with my ideas without acting upon any. One month feels like an agonizingly long time of being inactive but I am astute enough (despite everything), to realize that she makes a good point. 

Our motivations are usually derived from desire and much like a changing tide within desire there a rips and channels in which to drown. Acting upon impulse, whilst good in some circumstances, is not the antidote to a healing heart. In the aftermath of a break up I have to sit with myself, I have to brood and give myself time to reflect. 

I had someone email me some very profound advice recently: 

'I think that any two people in a relationship merge and connect through emotions and life experiences and if/when they separate there needs to be a time of healing in order to regain a sense of who we are as individuals.  As painful as it can be, that time alone can bring insight and growth that can empower us and move us on.'

So as much as I want to rebel against staying, I'm going to tread water and consider my options. 

There will also be some surfing too and we all know how that helps! 

Until next time 

Stay strong and surf well! 

Love Sophia