The Happiness State.

'It is possible that a starving African farmer has less sense of injustice than a middle-aged Western male who has never been fellated.' 
The Age of Absurdity, Michael Foley 

'One can live magnificently in this world. If one knows how to work and how to love, to work for the person one loves and to love one's work.' 
Tolstoy 

I am reading an excellent philosophy book (The Age of Absurdity) which has astutely recognized the impossibility of trying to define what happiness is, moreover its emphasised the sheer volume of definitions and how each one contradicts or cancels out the other. 

It therefore wouldn't be an exaggeration to admit that finding ones own solace in a modern world which tugs in various directions is an infinitely difficult task. 

Since I admitted on this here blog my struggles with happiness a strange thing has begun to occur. I've started to regenerate. That is to say I've tentatively begun to feel a measure of contentment. It is as though I've acknowledged that happiness is a fleeting and often nostalgic feeling and that by reflecting and recognizing this I give myself more opportunity to actually be happy. 

Alternative thought is that happiness isn't a state but a process, a continuous striving. Aristotle defined it as activity and the ancient Greek term eudaimonia translates roughly as flourishing - I like this idea to be happy is to flourish. 

I find this especially appealing because it has no attachments to material wealth or status, you can flourish at absolutely anything be it maintaining a herb garden or sitting by yourself watching the ocean.  

To me the simplest method of maintaining ones equilibrium is going for a walk. Travel however modest acts as a mirror and reflects back the thoughts and feelings we need to examine. Its also why surfing is such an integral part of my life, every part of the process is a journey which presents opportunity to be with myself and explore my own vulnerability. From the time I pack the rucksack, to the squeezing into of a wet suit, to the moment my body hits the water - I am an explorer discovering both my environment and the interior jungle which is my mind. 

At the nursing home where I am a supporter worker, the strawberry plant the service users and I have lovingly maintained, produced two perfect strawberries - it flourished. Yesterday I went for a walk with one of my best friends Craig into the woodlands, it was warm, quiet and a playground for two adventurous souls. One night when we thought my new perfume was aggravating my partners skin I without question jumped into the shower to scrub it off, a few minutes later I got a knock on the door and he joined me. 

Last night I attended the second meal out with an all female cast of acquaintances at a Thai restaurant in Birmingham. Although we're fairly new friends I started a conversation about a problem of mine and was delighted by the beautiful perspectives they all gave me. Each one of these interesting, diverse women took the time to analyse my predicament and produce their own interpretations. I looked around the table and felt monumentally grateful that I am both a woman and able to share my thoughts with other inspiring women.    

Today I rifled through my wardrobe relinquishing the feeling of attachment and donated all the clothes which don't fit, or I don't wear anymore to charity. Some items I will sell to afford my guinea pigs. 

You see, in life there are multiple opportunities to acknowledge small moments of beauty and derive a sense of wonder from them. 

On Friday I visit my doctor and will ask about being referred, I want to talk to someone and try to come to terms with old hurts and the pressures I place on myself. I like to think however that I've already entered a state of therapy by actively seeking out contentment in my everyday life. 

In the grand scheme of things of course I want to live by the ocean and be able to surf not once a month, but everyday if I so decided, but until that moment I chose to embrace all that I am, all that my life is and the pains which mould me. 

What does happiness mean to you? Tell me. Let's share and share alike. 

   

  

Until next time...

Stay strong, surf well 

Love Sophia