The only thing constant in the world is change.
'Growth' by India Arie
This photo changed everything. This is me at 5am in the morning surfing towards the sunrise, excruciatingly happy because I'm exactly where I want to be. My boyfriend of two years having seen this picture among others (taken on the Land Locked Surfer's trip), realized we hadn't been making each other as happy as we should. We were always town mouse and country mouse and although initially these differences weren't a problem, recently we started to notice it wasn't just separate interests, it was separate lifestyles dividing us.
We sat in an open space in the city and slowly realized our demise. It was a strange reality talking affectionately, laughing even, knowing that it was the last time we'd know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Regular readers will know this isn't the first time we've broken up and I'll never regret trying again with him. I feel sad because I wasn't able to make it work with someone as wonderful as him, handsome, kind, artistic and sensitive. He was a good man and we have a lot of love and respect for one another.
It appears wanderlust is my greatest love and continues to spearhead the direction of my life. My boyfriend having achieved great success, was happy to continue living in the fashion that he was. I on the other hand have this insatiable curiosity about the world, I want to explore and try living somewhere else until I find my niche. In Africa there is a saying:
'Born away from home.'
Its about people finding a country which isn't there origin but feeling like they've returned. I've always believed homes not a place or a feeling home is simply being.
The weeks events have spun out of my control and in the shards of another broken relationship I contemplate my next move. Tomorrow I'll get up at 5am and go to work. I'll stand on a commuter train daydreaming about my next surf trip until I'm at the nursing home where I make my money.
I'm lucky that I get to spend my days with people who are the most honest people you will ever get to meet. I'll help them rise, assist them with personal care, be there for every meal time, maybe we'll go out maybe we'll stay and do the gardening, but for fourteen hours my time is there's for which I am massively grateful of.
For a day I won't have time to think about myself but hours to luxuriate in the chaotic routine of their lives. Amid this I'm conscious of a wage at the end of the month, I'll save and budget like I always do, until I have enough to make a drastic change in my life.
I've been listening to a lot of India Arie, Valerie June and Joss Stone lately - women with soul to remind me that its ok to grieve this relationship even though its naturally run its course. Fundamentally I'm a strong woman, I'm constantly rediscovering myself and finding my path in this world. I hope this diary esq. post today helps others realize that its ok to be vulnerable and admit your not ok.
We are all in progress so embrace the change.
Thank you for reading it helps knowing your there.
Stay strong, surf well
Love Sophia
'Growth' by India Arie
This photo changed everything. This is me at 5am in the morning surfing towards the sunrise, excruciatingly happy because I'm exactly where I want to be. My boyfriend of two years having seen this picture among others (taken on the Land Locked Surfer's trip), realized we hadn't been making each other as happy as we should. We were always town mouse and country mouse and although initially these differences weren't a problem, recently we started to notice it wasn't just separate interests, it was separate lifestyles dividing us.
We sat in an open space in the city and slowly realized our demise. It was a strange reality talking affectionately, laughing even, knowing that it was the last time we'd know each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Regular readers will know this isn't the first time we've broken up and I'll never regret trying again with him. I feel sad because I wasn't able to make it work with someone as wonderful as him, handsome, kind, artistic and sensitive. He was a good man and we have a lot of love and respect for one another.
It appears wanderlust is my greatest love and continues to spearhead the direction of my life. My boyfriend having achieved great success, was happy to continue living in the fashion that he was. I on the other hand have this insatiable curiosity about the world, I want to explore and try living somewhere else until I find my niche. In Africa there is a saying:
'Born away from home.'
Its about people finding a country which isn't there origin but feeling like they've returned. I've always believed homes not a place or a feeling home is simply being.
The weeks events have spun out of my control and in the shards of another broken relationship I contemplate my next move. Tomorrow I'll get up at 5am and go to work. I'll stand on a commuter train daydreaming about my next surf trip until I'm at the nursing home where I make my money.
I'm lucky that I get to spend my days with people who are the most honest people you will ever get to meet. I'll help them rise, assist them with personal care, be there for every meal time, maybe we'll go out maybe we'll stay and do the gardening, but for fourteen hours my time is there's for which I am massively grateful of.
For a day I won't have time to think about myself but hours to luxuriate in the chaotic routine of their lives. Amid this I'm conscious of a wage at the end of the month, I'll save and budget like I always do, until I have enough to make a drastic change in my life.
I've been listening to a lot of India Arie, Valerie June and Joss Stone lately - women with soul to remind me that its ok to grieve this relationship even though its naturally run its course. Fundamentally I'm a strong woman, I'm constantly rediscovering myself and finding my path in this world. I hope this diary esq. post today helps others realize that its ok to be vulnerable and admit your not ok.
We are all in progress so embrace the change.
Thank you for reading it helps knowing your there.
Stay strong, surf well
Love Sophia
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