Standing still.

" The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.  "

- Chris McCandless

Perfecting the art of the wipe out. 

I can understand how to a non surfer, the prospect of having a slab of saltwater dumped on your head, in conditions which can only be described as 'Baltic,' may not seem all that appealing. Even now, I still shudder at the kook enthusiasm me and my best friend Jemima exhibited when we took the train to Saltburn and surfed for the first time ever in SNOW and ICE- such was our enthusiasm. 

For most of last year I switched off my 'surfer brain', or at least buried the compulsion in some dark alcove of my mind. This is partly because of the contentment I was/am feeling in my relationship (still going strong with Mr Sunshine my Nigerian Prince)! But largely it was because the pain and frustration of missing the sea was distracting and not very productive to starting a new business. 

What I've learnt is that surfing has become a very big part of my life and denying my desire to pursue this is as futile as putting costumes on dogs. You can't hide your true nature. Surfing is not just waves and adrenaline it is friendship, community, joy, bliss and as Chris McCandless so eloquently put it- an opportunity to feel strong. 

2016 has already started differently. I have come to terms with the fact I am not going to ride off into the sunset on a whim to go live by the sea. I am land locked, I have a job, commitments and I am not in a position to abandon it all to become a beach bum. 

As Surfabella a fellow land locked surfer (who happens to be like, amazing) writes in her article 'Why being a land locked surfer isn't so bad' - sometimes there's merit in the longing, rather than whinging about it you can look at your land locked status not as an affliction but an opportunity to travel, savor every moment and be the only mermaid in the village!! 

So. 2016. Here's to the surf weekends yet to happen. 

Mahalo love bugs. 

Love Sophia x 

For you I give it all.

It's been a while...
I guess I just can't help myself.  
In between the living, the jobs, the puppy and the surf trips I've missed something. 
This blog was a massive part of my life, not because it gave me an identity, somewhere to implore the world or drift into retrospectives. 
This blog was somewhere to just be. 

I've missed this blog, I've missed the incentive it gave me to go out seeking. 
I miss the weekly records of my habits, the clipped cheerfulness, the examination of my mental bandwidth. 

Mostly I miss the opportunities to discuss surfing. 

For a while I had to store surfing in the back of a cupboard, stowing it away like a saved Easter Egg for moments when I want to indulge. It became a distraction, pouring myself into a wet-suit was my chrysalis, riding a wave I emerged. The trouble with this particular method of metamorphism is that it requires you to be by the coast. 
I am land locked. 

Who needs California tans when you can look this cold and ill?? 

So in the interlude I told myself I was a serious business woman building her 'yoga brand' and that grieving waves missed was a perfunctory way to spend my (very little) downtime. I got weary, watched the numbers in my bank account jump along the timeline always plummeting to that line below 0. I cried myself to sleep worrying about finances, about how I was going to fulfill my dream as well as pay the bills.  

Between the lack of resources, I fell more and more in love with Mr Sunshine, my man, my beau, my friend. We got a puppy too! After all those years of describing my 'perfect' dog in an instant Ozzie the french bulldog appeared, the antithesis of what I thought I wanted. As the saying goes I got the dog I needed not the dog I wanted! 

I became a self employed yoga teacher then realized I like stability, I like structure and a monthly pay check. So I restructured, I got a job working with SEN kids realized I love working in the care sector. Now I'm about to become a technical rehabilitation instructor (i.e. working with people with acquired injury to regain their independence- so using yoga in a medical context)! I decided my heart is in building relationships so now I run yoga & surf retreats part time. My very first abroad trip is in Norway in 3 weeks time! 

I'll finish this tangent with Dolly (Parton of course). 

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain" 

We've been here before. The land locked surfer girl moaning about being land locked, except this time I see my frustrations as a necessary catalyst. I can see rainbows in the rain, staying here in the middle of England is not a failure, it does not diminish my capacity to surf, it just makes me appreciate my wave riding all the more when I'm there (and takes a little more effort). 

I'll keep you posted.

Mahalo love bugs x 

The NEW new years resolution,

Take a look at the list below and just for a minute think about how much time you spend on each in a week.

• Family & Friends
• Career
• Finances 
• Travel
• Entertainment
• Culture
• Hobbies 
• Exercise

Done that? Ok now look at the next list and do the same. 

• Meditation
• Contemplation
• Gratitude 
• Self awareness 
• Mindfulness 
• Spiritual pursuits (retreats, church etc, etc). 
• Compassion 

If your anything like me, your priorities lie with that first list and barely any time gets dedicated to the second - am I right? 

The reason I'm highlighting this to you, is because as one year ends and another starts there tends to be this mass exodus for fitness, diets and a sudden sense that it is imperative to improve all the external factors in your life. 

I love nothing more than starting a fresh page in my diary and writing down all my projects and hopes for the new year, its incredibly carthic and I think an excellent step in trying to make dreams a reality. 

What I tend to always neglect though is this simple theory: 

Cultivate your internal landscape through tending to your spiritual practice, nurturing mindfulness, compassion and investing in regular meditation. Do this and like flowers in a garden your dreams will have an environment in which to grow. 

(I'm quite proud of that metaphor)! I'm starting to realize that by focusing my attention inwards I'll have greater clarity and will be better able to scope out opportunities and truly follow my dreams. 

I too hope for fulfillment in my career, to continue to flourish in a loving relationship, to surf and surround myself with great people, plants, pets and the beautiful outdoors. Those things will come but first I'm saying hell yeah to meditation, reflection, gratitude and compassion! 

Until next time 

Stay strong and surf well 

Love 

Tonglen.

    

Two weaknesses leaning together constitute a strength. therefore the one half of the world leaning against the other half becomes firm.' - Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519) 

Why am I sending you a big kiss today world? Because the news lately is utterly terrifying with horrors happening against innocent people. In our grief for those victims its hard to comprehend suffering or begin to understand it. It is here I retreat to Buddhist teachings of absorbing negativity and sending out healing. I don't pretend to be able to solve the world's problems, but despite the shame, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful place, good exists and as Ghandi rightly said we must be the change we wish to see.

In Buddhism there is a practice of transforming pain called Tonglen, it allows us to help heal suffering in the world, transforming it through positive loving thoughts. After spending most of Tuesday sobbing after hearing about the sieges in Australia, Pakistan  and the awful, awful suffering endured by Kenyan street children at the mercy of quite frankly an evil man, I was feeling both furiously angry and frustrated. I was so troubled I couldn't sleep so sat on the floor of my bedroom reading books. 

I recalled an extract written by the Dalai lama on the subject of the Chinese. For many years the Chinese had been killing and trying to wipe out Buddhism in Tibet, behavior which should have elicited anger and hatred from the Dalai Lama. Instead he saw his enemies as an opportunity to learn of tolerance and visualized the Chinese during their decision making processes. He sent them healing and positive thoughts so they perhaps might act more compassionately when making choices about Tibet. 

In my little attic room in my parents house, I tried to visualize the Kenyan street children and the victims of the sieges sending them all the love and healing my heart possesses. Of course this alone is not enough to help, we must act practically and behave with compassion but as Confucius rightly said; 

'First there must be order and harmony within your own mind. Then this order will spread to your family, then to the community and finally your entire kingdom. Only then can you have peace and harmony.' (Confucius 551-479BCE). 

I'm sharing an apple with Bruh bunny as we speak and reflecting on what I can do in the parameters of my own life to try and make positive ripples out into the world. I'll let you know what I come up with...

Until next time, 

Stay strong and surf well

Love

Hiatus.

It's been so long since my last blog post I actually feel like its almost a confessional. I'm rusty with routines I am normally so familiar with when creating a post - what has happened?! 

Hiatus. Hiatus is what has happened. Not through choice I might add but I've had to prioritize some day job things i.e. work and my yoga teacher training course. Both are enormous entities that are pulling me in various different directions. Free time feels like a distant memory and weekends seem to have evaporated into being some mythical creature I'll never know. 

I'm down but I'm definitely not out! This blog is too interwoven with my consciousness to be left completely, I love it too much. For now I'm waving from the distance, I know I'm far but I'm still here really. 

As ever surfing has managed to intercept my life, here are two videos I've managed to peruse in between running to work and writing essays. 

AWAY 

Awesome little documentary set in New York following the lives of female surfers there. You'll LOVE it. 


AWAY (short film) from Elisa Bates on Vimeo.

#VANLIFE

Does its best to put you off living in a van with hilarious consequences but still manages to make living off grid look rad. Very, VERY funny! 

 

Until next time folks, 

Stay strong and surf well
Love 

Big Wave Rider.

As ever it is from the world of surfing that I glean another life lesson, faced with personal challenges I look to the likes of Keala Kennelly, a big wave rider, to help remind me that there are two types of fear 'rational' and 'irrational,' one keeps you safe and the other must be overcome and judging which is which is your constant battle in life. 

Sat in suburban landlockedville so far from the ocean that precipitation gets me excited its hard to not get frustrated. Often when I am going through hardship I revert to my old comfort blanket of yearning for the ocean. I seem to reside a little too long in feelings of self indulgence, wishing to quit my job, drop everything and move to the coast. I understand myself enough to know this is flight not fight and changing my postcode won't change me, regardless of geography you are still the same person. 

Water is in our DNA, we came from it and for a few of us we're never quite able to shake our aquatic origins. I have no business being a surfer, I am from Birmingham UK, from a city that boasts industrial revolution as one of its credentials, but a surfer I am. 

My big wave riding is overcoming the irrational fear of 'not amounting to anything.' Like surfers, you have to actively use that fear to help you perform, you can't let fear conquer you, our outweigh why you do things. As I approach a birthday (I'll be 26 this week) I have to actively remind myself that I'll never stagnate because there's too much life in my bones. Even if it feels like I'm just paddling water I'm getting somewhere. 

This post is part diary entry. Part positive affirmation. 

I hope it helps either way. 

Until next time, 

Stay strong, surf well

Love

Surf Yogini

 My darlings, I haven't forgot you. 

I have embarked on the hardest journey of my life and for now this is absorbing most of my attention. I have managed to have a little surf session at the Scarborough surf festival (which was cancelled again because the waves were...well mush burgers). I'll post about that soon enough. 

For now I am a fully immersed yogi. Which basically means my only thoughts are yoga based and when I'm not practicing I'm writing about the philosophy. In a couple of weeks the blog is going to have a total revamp, a surf/yoga themed revamp. 

So for now I bid you a fond Namaste. 

Stay strong, surf well 
Love

Surf Renegade.

Last weekend I went to Brighton with my boyfriend, although this land locked surfer didn't catch any waves I swam, laughed and fell in love.

I may be 25 but I am still infinitely curious about the ocean and all its beautiful creatures.

Its only been 8 months but he makes me heart glad every single day, forever my Mr Sunshine. 

 
 

He's cute isn't he ;) 

 
 
 



Brighton is big, snazzy, full of renegades and is quite possibly the coolest place on earth. 
Mr Sunny and I became weekend warrior's trekking down to Blighty on Friday eve straight after work. It was reckless, last minute and rash but was one of the best weekends of my life (and that's saying something because I didn't even surf)?! 

Brighton feels like a kingdom all to itself, its credentials include, being one of the greenest cities with the Green party having a strong hold there, its the most liberal, incredibly artistic and it also happens to be incredibly gay friendly as its the original place of Pride festival. Its a wonderful cosmos of music, art and different cultures and it WORKS. Be who you want to be. That seems to be the Brighton motto. 

Controversially Brighton even has it's own surf... 

...not known for its epic waves Brighton does have some swell and because of this occasional appearance of waves a mini surf culture has arisen. Check out these beautiful videos, The Endless Winter series took a trip down to Blighty and called the episode 'London by the sea' which I think gives you a very accurate vibe about the atmosphere there. The second film is an 'espresso coffee cup' style film (short and has a kick to it) shot at West Pier, Brighton, the word is AWESOME. 

 

Until next time 
Stay strong, surf well 
Love

Surf Senegal.

 
 

 

Once upon a time I lived on an Island off the coast of Senegal. I had a dog called Bob Marley who belonged to no one and everyone. We'd get up and practice yoga on the cliffs before heading for a morning surf. He'd jump in the water and swim alongside me and was one of the many reasons why I dream about getting a dog of my very own and surfing everyday. I was in a bikini always and bare foot most of the time, I got to live with amazing surfers from all over the world and expats with all their interesting life stories. I surfed and partied with Senegalese surfers who made me see surfing not just as a hobby but a lifestyle, a lifestyle with African flare. 

I got to teach yoga everyday, to pro surfers, the beautiful ordinary people and maybe one famous singer... 
My life was a series of sunrises, hot days and gorgeous sunsets. I'd got to the Italian hotel on an evening to eat pudding and steal their wifi but most of the time I was at the beach loving every moment of it. I was poor, could barely speak the language and slept where I could be fitted in but I will never ever forget you Senegal. 

Until next time 
Stay strong, surf well 
Love