Silence.

Sometimes I am utterly convinced I'm an old soul and that I've lived a few lives before the one I have now. When I was young I used to go through the motions of attending parties all the while feeling like I didn't belong there. I wasn't a wall flower, in fact I was/am usually the first on the dance floor, but I guess my heart wasn't in it. My long term friends joke that I'm Grandma on account of my insatiable tea habit and quiet. Now that I am hopelessly in love (still going steady wohooo) and a bunny momma my nesting instinct is even stronger.

Happiness to me is curled up with my boys. 

Bruh bunny and Mr Sunshine sharing popcorn here. 

Real men are kind to animals 

Too cute to breath! 

My Mr Sunny being a stealth photographer here! 

By nature I'm a worrier, I am somebody that both needs and hates busyness, heck I even called my rabbit 'Hectic Bruh' after a South African saying for crazy waves! 

Both surfing and yoga found me almost simultaneously and I believe are there to help me enjoy the silence. Both yoga and surfing turn you inwards and make you concentrate on your breath and being present. 
Neither are a sport or a hobby to me they are a way of life and I'm so grateful I have both these endeavours to remind me to stand still and enjoy the silence!   

 It was after some silence and contemplation I finally came up with the name for my yoga and animal assisted therapy business (taking animals to care homes as therapy). I ran it past the family and landed on:

 Love the sound of 'Wild at heart Yoga & Animal Assisted Therapy,' it both excites me and scares me shit less!! I'm finally living my dream, taking a leap of faith and fashioning and life all of my very own. 

Oh and there shall be surfing in this life. Oh the surfing! 


Until next time,
Stay strong and surf well
Love

Big Wave Rider.

As ever it is from the world of surfing that I glean another life lesson, faced with personal challenges I look to the likes of Keala Kennelly, a big wave rider, to help remind me that there are two types of fear 'rational' and 'irrational,' one keeps you safe and the other must be overcome and judging which is which is your constant battle in life. 

Sat in suburban landlockedville so far from the ocean that precipitation gets me excited its hard to not get frustrated. Often when I am going through hardship I revert to my old comfort blanket of yearning for the ocean. I seem to reside a little too long in feelings of self indulgence, wishing to quit my job, drop everything and move to the coast. I understand myself enough to know this is flight not fight and changing my postcode won't change me, regardless of geography you are still the same person. 

Water is in our DNA, we came from it and for a few of us we're never quite able to shake our aquatic origins. I have no business being a surfer, I am from Birmingham UK, from a city that boasts industrial revolution as one of its credentials, but a surfer I am. 

My big wave riding is overcoming the irrational fear of 'not amounting to anything.' Like surfers, you have to actively use that fear to help you perform, you can't let fear conquer you, our outweigh why you do things. As I approach a birthday (I'll be 26 this week) I have to actively remind myself that I'll never stagnate because there's too much life in my bones. Even if it feels like I'm just paddling water I'm getting somewhere. 

This post is part diary entry. Part positive affirmation. 

I hope it helps either way. 

Until next time, 

Stay strong, surf well

Love

What yoga teacher training has taught me about surfing and myself.

I'm mid way through a yoga teacher training course and I hate it. Something that ordinarily brings me joy and solace has become something which is a source of stress and unhappiness. The course itself is mismanaged and taught in a manner which is strict, sometimes mean and very, very demanding. Whilst its easy to blame this on course leaders and start using terms like 'bullies' in actuality its myself I am most frustrated with. 

I'm angry that I didn't read the small print and reviews with a fine tooth comb as both would have given me insight into how tough the course is. Doing this qualification has been a bit like tipping acid over myself, its peeled back all the layers that I consider 'me' and revealed the ego and the fears that govern my thought processes. 

Did you know that hip opener postures in yoga bring emotion to the surface? 
No seriously they do. On hip opener day nearly all of the course participants 'hit the wall' and left feeling raw with emotion. 

For me it revealed something as way back in the past as school days still affect my conduct today. Because I was bullied I validated myself by being studious so when I graduated university and no longer had the academic shield to cling to, it wasn't surprising that I became massively lost and depressed. 
I also realize I'm passive aggressive, that because I'm a people pleaser I've become so fearful of upsetting others that I completely ignore my own feelings in favor of being 'nice.' 
Its no wonder then that when I got criticized in yoga teacher training (which was constantly as I'm one of the weaker students), I couldn't be like Teflon and let it slide, every single comment wounded me deeply. 

Here's positives that I did learn and am continually learning as I pursue this qualification: 

YOU CAN FIND GOOD PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

A Slovenian traveler named David said this to me when I was seventeen and working in Croatia, its a comment that continues to resonate with me. The one massive consolation of this yoga course is the other participants, we've cried, hugged and eaten together supporting one another through this hard experience. If you look hard enough you can always find great people. 

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE SURFING MY DAY JOB 

Finally something relevant to surfing!! There's this saying; 

'...find something you love and you'll never work a day in your life again,' 

Its a phrase I recently encountered again over at The tale of a Mermaid, Devon wrote that she didn't believe it because even the things we love involve work and hardship, that's just how it goes. I agree wholeheartedly, I LOVE yoga but becoming a teacher is physically and emotionally draining. Its something I can't let happen to my surfing. Surfing is my sanctuary and whilst I want to do it everyday I realize that by trying to make it a business I put it in danger of evolving into something I no longer like or recognize. I think this means I'm a:

Soul Surfer. 


ANIMALS WILL CONTINUE TO INSPIRE ME. 

This is going to sound weird but animals have saved me over and over again these past few weeks. The most obvious candidate is Bruh my beloved surf bunny, he's been my little heartbeat during the many hours I've spent slaving over yoga coursework on my computer. 

There's been a few trippier animal encounters also. During mediation (we had to do an hour at 5am every morning), I kept having the image of an elephant come into my minds eye. We'd put our foreheads together and he'd wrap his trunk around my shoulders. Every time it happened I had such a feeling of calm and strength. I also kept seeing myself underwater swimming alongside a whale. The whale would let me lie on its back and I could see the light penetrating the surface of the water. Both experiences left me feeling serene and strong. On the second day of yoga camp when I'd literally had enough and was sobbing ready to quit I went for a walk and got blocked by a cat. This little black cat kept weaving in and out of my legs, eventually I lean't down and gave it some fuss, but every time I tried to step forward it would prevent me. Finally I gave in and started walking back to the studio. Well the cat walked me back and watched me go!!! Ok universe I get it! 

I LEARNT ABOUT RESILIENCE 

I cried, tried to quit but returned and this I realize is resilience. I don't feel strong or especially 'together' but I do possess strength and to get through some of the things I have past and present is testament that I have it.

Life doesn't give you anything you can't handle.

Right I'd best get back to doing some yoga coursework 
(...whilst planning the next land locked surfers trip)!

Until next time 
Stay strong, surf well 
Love

Vaguely related to surfing.

Let's be honest this blog is a diary that occasionally talks about surfing. I like that balance I like presenting all sides of myself, for you dear blog reader, to regard and do with as you will. So with that in mind here are some tenuous links to surfing that I thought you might be entertained by (or at the very least you can use to procrastinate from whatever it is you should be doing)! 

Vaguely related surf topic number one. 

BRUH BUNNY  

Today my mind has been firmly fixed on Bruh the rabbit, he was booked in to get castrated and I've pretty much been an anxious wreck from 9am when I admitted him to now. So how does this relate to surfing? Well Bruh is named after my favorite phrase I heard South African surfers say when I was staying in Cape Town. 'Hectic Bruh' means the waves were really awesome and Bruh means brother which I just loved. 

Vaguely related surf topic number 2. 

STOKED. 

I should be embarrassed admitting this but I'm not- I love the kids cartoon Stoked! My surfing buddy found this animated series on Netflix so put it on for her daughter, it was so good she not only had one happy kid she also really enjoyed it too! She enjoyed it so much she recommended it to me and seven episodes in I can confirm it is AWESOME!! It covers everything from localism, tongue in cheek references to Point Break, dropping in, cross stepping and with characters such as 'Broseph' and 'Reef' what's not to love?!!  

Vaguely related surf topic number three. 

FELICITY PALMATEER ART 

Ok so Felicity Palmateer is actually a pro surfer which is incredibly relevant to surfing! What I'm particularly interested in is not her wave technique but her art because as well as being a surfer, conservationist and model she also happens to be a kick ass artist. I love her whale mandala and reckon this would look awesome for the tattoo I dream about and hopefully will eventually have if I can save/muster up enough courage!! 

Vaguely related surf topic number four. 

ALL THINGS BOHEMIAN. 

I know its terribly hipster of me to admit this but I just LOVE anything that has a bohemian flavor and every time I think of surfing I feel there's a connection to being a bohemian free spirit. Back in the day (50's & 60's) surf culture was on the fringes of society, it was deemed unsavory amongst the conservative middle classes so those who made it their lives were often branded as outcasts. Nowadays surfing still represents that alternative free spirited vibe and I LOVE it! 

Vaguely related surf topic number five 

SURFING DOGS 

 No words necessary. 

Until next time 
Stay strong, surf well
Love

Life of a land locked surfer.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

- Bruce Lee

The life of a land locked surfer girl consists of missing waves, wanting waves, yearning waves and getting frustrated about not having waves. As a Buddhist apprentice (this is my unique way of saying I'm an uninformed wannabe Buddhist) I return to Buddhist philosophy remembering that attachment to contaminated karma i.e. lust, greed, anger, fear and desire are root causes of suffering. Rather than trying to eradicate these from our lives by ignoring them, it is through acknowledging there existence that we are able to find mental peace. 

In other words, stressing about not getting waves and focusing on the fact that I don't live by the ocean, won't help me feel better about being a land locked surfer. 

So when I'm not near the ocean I live my life trying my best to be present and enjoy the beautiful ordinary moments. With this in mind I've been instagramming incessantly my week in pictures so I could create a photo diary on this here blog. 

So without much further ado: 

THE LIFE OF A LAND LOCKED SURFER GIRL (in pictures). 

Its so easy to miss things in life, these are roses from my garden I happened to take note of thanks to my yoga practice, which I've taken to doing out there. How beautiful are they?! 

  

The selfies above and below are taken in one of my favorite places, this is sat up in my parents garden on the rocking chair (supervising Bruh the bunny having free time)! I go up there all the time hence my different outfits, its a small everyday pleasure that brings me much mirth and happiness!  

Meet Holly the cat, she belongs to my neighbors but is often found hanging about our garden. She's another sentient being who happens to make my life a tiny bit more awesome. 
I'm really embracing the veganism these days and have been trying some new recipes. Above is orange & apricot cous cous with dessicated coconut and nectarine. Below is walnut salad with spinach & seed pesto with a couple of veggie sausages. Don't let me fool you though, I've also enjoyed bourbon biscuits and vegan ready made pizza! Life is all about balance so a little of what you like isn't going to hurt you! 

 

A large part of my life is spent with the delectable Mr Sunny the boyfriend, as we're both explorers we love nothing more than jumping in the car and having a mini road trip somewhere rad. Being that he's not from here originally we have a lot of fun investigating the local area. Amazingly this beautiful castle and gardens was a mere 40 minutes away from Birmingham city center! We had a lot of fun on our date day out, climbing the ruins and finding interesting spots to take photos. 

 
 

This is one of my favorite photos of Mr Sunny and I, because it was taken on a really beautiful day in the sunshine (rare in September in England)! 

 

I know, I know not another food picture! Sorry but this has a nice little story to it- its vegan Thai curry that Mr Sunny and I made together, its always something to talk about when a vegan meal goes down well with a carnivore!! 

*Prepare for unprecedented amounts of soppiness* 

I love Mr Sunny with all my heart, these photos were him just being him really! Obviously the gold camera bag (below) was posed but the photo above was him just sitting down watching the world go by...yup he's that cool (makes me look like an escaped hippie vagabond all the time)! He's a massive consolation of being land locked and makes every day amazing- ok, gush fest over!!! 

 
 

The photo above and two below are from around Birmingham city center, I'm still amazed after years of moaning about this place that I discover beautiful areas like this and actually learn that I quite like the place! Wearing my favorite hat again! 
 
 


I couldn't talk about a regular week without mentioning my beloved Bruh Bunny. Me and him are latch key kids ferrying between my home and Mr Sunny's house, he is however the most unflappable rabbit I've ever encountered. Today I was cleaning and happened to put Mr Sunny's skateboard down, which Bruh then promptly climbed upon - he most definitely takes after his owner! 

Whatever your circumstances, whether a sea dweller or a land locked surfer like me I hope you find great moments of extraordinary ordinary in your life. Live it well saltwater yogis! 

Until next time 

Stay strong, surf well

Love