What yoga teacher training has taught me about surfing and myself.

I'm mid way through a yoga teacher training course and I hate it. Something that ordinarily brings me joy and solace has become something which is a source of stress and unhappiness. The course itself is mismanaged and taught in a manner which is strict, sometimes mean and very, very demanding. Whilst its easy to blame this on course leaders and start using terms like 'bullies' in actuality its myself I am most frustrated with. 

I'm angry that I didn't read the small print and reviews with a fine tooth comb as both would have given me insight into how tough the course is. Doing this qualification has been a bit like tipping acid over myself, its peeled back all the layers that I consider 'me' and revealed the ego and the fears that govern my thought processes. 

Did you know that hip opener postures in yoga bring emotion to the surface? 
No seriously they do. On hip opener day nearly all of the course participants 'hit the wall' and left feeling raw with emotion. 

For me it revealed something as way back in the past as school days still affect my conduct today. Because I was bullied I validated myself by being studious so when I graduated university and no longer had the academic shield to cling to, it wasn't surprising that I became massively lost and depressed. 
I also realize I'm passive aggressive, that because I'm a people pleaser I've become so fearful of upsetting others that I completely ignore my own feelings in favor of being 'nice.' 
Its no wonder then that when I got criticized in yoga teacher training (which was constantly as I'm one of the weaker students), I couldn't be like Teflon and let it slide, every single comment wounded me deeply. 

Here's positives that I did learn and am continually learning as I pursue this qualification: 

YOU CAN FIND GOOD PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

A Slovenian traveler named David said this to me when I was seventeen and working in Croatia, its a comment that continues to resonate with me. The one massive consolation of this yoga course is the other participants, we've cried, hugged and eaten together supporting one another through this hard experience. If you look hard enough you can always find great people. 

I DON'T WANT TO MAKE SURFING MY DAY JOB 

Finally something relevant to surfing!! There's this saying; 

'...find something you love and you'll never work a day in your life again,' 

Its a phrase I recently encountered again over at The tale of a Mermaid, Devon wrote that she didn't believe it because even the things we love involve work and hardship, that's just how it goes. I agree wholeheartedly, I LOVE yoga but becoming a teacher is physically and emotionally draining. Its something I can't let happen to my surfing. Surfing is my sanctuary and whilst I want to do it everyday I realize that by trying to make it a business I put it in danger of evolving into something I no longer like or recognize. I think this means I'm a:

Soul Surfer. 


ANIMALS WILL CONTINUE TO INSPIRE ME. 

This is going to sound weird but animals have saved me over and over again these past few weeks. The most obvious candidate is Bruh my beloved surf bunny, he's been my little heartbeat during the many hours I've spent slaving over yoga coursework on my computer. 

There's been a few trippier animal encounters also. During mediation (we had to do an hour at 5am every morning), I kept having the image of an elephant come into my minds eye. We'd put our foreheads together and he'd wrap his trunk around my shoulders. Every time it happened I had such a feeling of calm and strength. I also kept seeing myself underwater swimming alongside a whale. The whale would let me lie on its back and I could see the light penetrating the surface of the water. Both experiences left me feeling serene and strong. On the second day of yoga camp when I'd literally had enough and was sobbing ready to quit I went for a walk and got blocked by a cat. This little black cat kept weaving in and out of my legs, eventually I lean't down and gave it some fuss, but every time I tried to step forward it would prevent me. Finally I gave in and started walking back to the studio. Well the cat walked me back and watched me go!!! Ok universe I get it! 

I LEARNT ABOUT RESILIENCE 

I cried, tried to quit but returned and this I realize is resilience. I don't feel strong or especially 'together' but I do possess strength and to get through some of the things I have past and present is testament that I have it.

Life doesn't give you anything you can't handle.

Right I'd best get back to doing some yoga coursework 
(...whilst planning the next land locked surfers trip)!

Until next time 
Stay strong, surf well 
Love

Vaguely related to surfing.

Let's be honest this blog is a diary that occasionally talks about surfing. I like that balance I like presenting all sides of myself, for you dear blog reader, to regard and do with as you will. So with that in mind here are some tenuous links to surfing that I thought you might be entertained by (or at the very least you can use to procrastinate from whatever it is you should be doing)! 

Vaguely related surf topic number one. 

BRUH BUNNY  

Today my mind has been firmly fixed on Bruh the rabbit, he was booked in to get castrated and I've pretty much been an anxious wreck from 9am when I admitted him to now. So how does this relate to surfing? Well Bruh is named after my favorite phrase I heard South African surfers say when I was staying in Cape Town. 'Hectic Bruh' means the waves were really awesome and Bruh means brother which I just loved. 

Vaguely related surf topic number 2. 

STOKED. 

I should be embarrassed admitting this but I'm not- I love the kids cartoon Stoked! My surfing buddy found this animated series on Netflix so put it on for her daughter, it was so good she not only had one happy kid she also really enjoyed it too! She enjoyed it so much she recommended it to me and seven episodes in I can confirm it is AWESOME!! It covers everything from localism, tongue in cheek references to Point Break, dropping in, cross stepping and with characters such as 'Broseph' and 'Reef' what's not to love?!!  

Vaguely related surf topic number three. 

FELICITY PALMATEER ART 

Ok so Felicity Palmateer is actually a pro surfer which is incredibly relevant to surfing! What I'm particularly interested in is not her wave technique but her art because as well as being a surfer, conservationist and model she also happens to be a kick ass artist. I love her whale mandala and reckon this would look awesome for the tattoo I dream about and hopefully will eventually have if I can save/muster up enough courage!! 

Vaguely related surf topic number four. 

ALL THINGS BOHEMIAN. 

I know its terribly hipster of me to admit this but I just LOVE anything that has a bohemian flavor and every time I think of surfing I feel there's a connection to being a bohemian free spirit. Back in the day (50's & 60's) surf culture was on the fringes of society, it was deemed unsavory amongst the conservative middle classes so those who made it their lives were often branded as outcasts. Nowadays surfing still represents that alternative free spirited vibe and I LOVE it! 

Vaguely related surf topic number five 

SURFING DOGS 

 No words necessary. 

Until next time 
Stay strong, surf well
Love

Bruh.

//Hectic Bruh//

South African surfer slang depicting the condition of a wave to a fellow surfer 'bruh' also known as brother. 

In 7 days I'll be bringing Bruh bunny home (he's the first rabbit on the left). Like much of 2014 Bruh is a bit of a twist in the tale which has turned out to be for the best. This year I wasn't supposed to meet someone and fall in love but I did, I was going to live by the ocean and get a dog. Instead I'll be living in Middlesbrough (twenty minutes away from my favorite surf spot)bwith a house bunny named Bruh and functioning within a long distance relationship. 

Sometimes life turns you on your head but the results of this can be a massively positive thing. My life is very much up in the air at the moment, I'm still waiting to confirm whether I am in receipt of the scholarship (which is my yay or nay for even being able to attend university) and as of yet I have nowhere to live when I do move up North. Its reminded me of the disarray I felt graduating university for the first time and has inspired me to knock together a little article for all you grads.  

...But first, to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside here are some pictures of bunnies <3 

         





































































Sophia's Average Guide to Graduating. 
(if it was graded it would probably be a solid 2:2...with prospects). 

Graduated: 
1. in stages divided into regular steps 
2. marked with lines to enable measurement 
3. finance describes a system of taxation under which those with the greatest income or assets pay the highest percentage of tax

When I graduated university I literally wanted to kill myself, which I think you'll agree is a pretty extreme reaction to a life transition. There was other, rather serious and personal stuff going on alongside the momentous occasion of graduating but the impending future, one devoid of concessions, cut price rent and lectures was a future infinitely terrifying to me. 

In the space of a week I lost my boyfriend (we broke up , I didn't misplace him), my uni friends, my independence and my identity. Crying myself to sleep in the single bed of my childhood room the question of 'what now,' kept me awake for many nights there after. Remember the financial crisis? 
Yeah. So I graduated that year. 

My life began to resemble a spaghetti western where living at home felt like time in the sheriffs office, tumble weed down a deserted street represented my social life and show downs were between me and employers, my CV being my (useless) weapon of choice. 

4 years on I'm in a minimum wage job in a completely different sector, still living at home with my parents and about to go to University for the second time....Life if Mucking Afazing!! I'm not what society would call conventionally successful but I have achieved happiness so without further ado here's my 2 cents about surviving graduation. 

YOU ARE A PERSON NOT A STATISTIC. 
Repeat that mantra until you value yourself above the grade achieved. You go to university to get an education but you don't become knowledgeable until you've lived a bit. University is a bit like being in a greenhouse where all variables are controlled and you exist in an idyllic controlled environment. Life outside of the greenhouse is harsh cold and infinitely more difficult but you are closer to the sky and you'll actually feel the rain instead of just getting wet. Whatever grade you got remember it represents such a tiny proportion of who you are, the same as a job doesn't define you its just something you do. 

DO SOMETHING. 
It doesn't matter whether what you chose to do is backpacking round Thailand or bag packing in your local supermarket just do something which is non university related for a while to either earn money or see some things. Not everyone in this world is university educated and its important to meet these people. Its difficult to know your purpose straight after graduating but doing something with your time, whether its a little part time job or travelling will help you learn somethings about yourself which may just help you decide. 

ACCEPT THAT INTERNSHIPS ARE MODERN SLAVE LABOR AND THAT THEY WONT GUARANTEE YOU A JOB. 
Despite this, internships are wonderful opportunities to understand the industry you want to get into and offers you the chance to network. You'll make tea, get bored and question whether humanitarian work/journalism/accountancy/law etc etc is what you really want to do. Whatever your role make it your mission to EXCEL, go the extra mile, work hard because regardless of the outcome you'll get into the habit of putting your all into what you do which is infinitely good karma my dears. 

GO SURFING. 
It was as a listless graduate that I decided to try surfing which not only stopped me from topping myself but also opened up a whole new world....a blog for a start, life long friends, health and above all happiness. Surfing was something out of the academic arena, one free from judgement and pressure, which gave me the opportunity to 'come back to myself' in the words of Doc Pascowitz it 'recreated me.' You need a break from endless job applications, the stress of not knowing what direction to go in life and surfing is the perfect antidote to that. 


APPLY. 
See the perfect job? Then apply. Sounds simple doesn't it. I found myself often put off by job specifications thinking I couldn't possibly fit all the criteria....but here's the thing...no one does. Think of job adverts like lonely heart ads, your never going to see, 

SEEKING...
A mediocre person, average looking, who will contribute the absolute bare minimum to the relationship and provide no opportunities for personal growth or happiness. XOXO

Employers use the job spec as a wish list and hope that applicants might hit a few, so apply to everything that tickles your fancy, makes you giddy with excitement or offers you some kind of opportunity. Whilst your busy waiting for your dream job, apply to everything else inbetween. I'm talking shop work, bar tending roles, waitressing, anything that keeps you busy and gives you the opportunity to earn some money. (Just avoid prostitution, THOSE gumtree ads and becoming an assassin). 

F*@% FACEBOOK 
Checking your fb account twenty times a day is going to remind you that people are out there LIVING THEIR LIVES and once more they'll be living infinitely happier, more fulfilling lives which are better than yours...Nah not really, everybody projects the best version of themselves on facebook, its natural as who wants to show the boring mundane aspects of their lives?! Not me! Don't worry about the hype, or get caught up in show boating, just go placidly amidst the noise and the haste. Your life has meaning and its exciting purely because its all yours. 

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. 
After university I worked in a health shop selling 'horny goat weed' to frustrated husbands, I was a youth leader with refugee kids, lived in Senegal at Ngor Surf camp teaching Yoga, did humanitarian work in Ethiopia, was a waitress for about a week, got rejected from hundreds of jobs, set up the land locked surfers club becoming a blogger in the process and fell in and out of love more times than I care to admit. But hey, that's my story and you'll have your own winding version which will seem chaotic and confusing but will be a massive learning curve. As the saying goes....enjoy the ride. 

Until next time
Stay strong and surf well 
Love