Embracing the random

Rockaway Taco, A Selby Film from the selby on Vimeo. 

[Inspiration]

So I've had something of an Renaissance in terms of thinking. For so long I've been focusing on the things I'm lacking i.e. full time employment, money, my own place, the biggest quandary being 'Why am I not being hired for the jobs I want?' 
This is the wrong question to be asking as it focuses too much on external factors. What I should be asking is 'what opportunities can I seize?' 

Sometimes through embracing the random we develop and create something far surpassing our earlier expectations. Take for instance the following example. From an early age I wanted to be a vet and for several years this was my chief aim in life. I got as far as college and began to realize there was no hope in hell that I'd make the cut. Quite randomly my biology teacher at the time suggested I enter an essay competition to win a summer school place with the London Natural History Museum, to learn about conservation. Lo and behold I won a place. Random. 
The experience fueled an interest in Wildlife Conservation which led me to university, to working in Africa and exposed me to the plight of people living in poverty. Now my interests lie in sustainable development, how can we help people living in poverty whilst protecting the environment? 

So you see I'm looking at the current lack of employment as an opportunity, a sign if you will, that my attention should lie elsewhere. I began working with refugee youth because I looked outside my peripheral and saw something that I could throw my heart and soul into. Now its one of the highlights of my week. 

It got me thinking about community. Surfing got me thinking. And suddenly there was something tangible. I'm setting up a social enterprise because I need a purpose but more importantly because we should all care about our own communities. 

This is the basic premise: 

We'll take disadvantaged inner city kids (refugees, asylum seekers, delinquents and below the poverty line youth) on surf weekends in the UK. Surfing has such positive impacts not only because of the interaction with nature but in building confidence in the individual. The enterprise part of the equation will come from Birmingham's first and only 'landlocked surf cafe' where I'll teach yoga, sell vegan cakes, have surf movie nights and community art groups. 

So what do you think? 

This idea might not get through past the planning stage, the paper work, or even survive its first year of business. But you know what I have a vision and this, I feel, is the most important part. I've got to give it a go. 

Why not? 

*Seeking

'Call him a slow learner, "retarded" and write him off as ineducable and you have an Albert Einstein.'

- Phillip Baker

'Never, never, never, never give up'

- Winston Churchill

There was a girl I  used to know. She always had ambitions and did not let poor grades, social ostracising or any other problems hinder her momentum. This girl took risks, travelled when people told her she was too young and too vulnerable as a woman to do so. She loved voraciously and though sometimes fearful, she overcame the interior voices which tried to hold her back.

This girl is was me.

Lately I've felt so lost. Continued striving to find full time employment has left me feeling disillusioned and uninspired. You see for most of my life I've been conditioned by the doctrine of 'Achieve,' the endless pursuit of 'something' we're made to strive for in Western education. So naturally when my academic pilgrimage failed to deliver fruition I've struggle to define who I am and what my place is in the world.  

Our externalised living fails to appreciate the most basic of understandings, as said by Zig Ziglar;

'we are all endowed with the seeds of greatness...'

We all have something to contribute to our society to better change our world and make a positive lasting impact. For the last few weeks I admit to feeling completely lost. I don't know what I want anymore, what's my niche, what's my specialism?

I realise this is part the battle, acknowledging that something needs to change within my life and it starts with where I decide to dedicate my energy. I need to find my passion again.

Distance from my Buddhist practises has perhaps helped me forget that externalised living e.g. wealth, status, accolades never delivers true happiness. We are human beings therefore we must be.

'Character is all about being...doing is simply the reflection of our inner core...'  

You may have noticed a distinct lack of posts about surfing recently too. This is largely down to two things:

1) My current land locked status

2) Not wanting to dwell on being land locked.

If I think about my lack of surfing too much I become like the dog with a flea behind the ear. I can't hack the longing and the feeling that I'm wasting valuable surfing time.

This anxiousness has been really well investigated by the following article in the San Diego Reader >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The Selfish Pursuit

Consistently chastitsing myself for not surfing and not having a full time job is not a healthy pastime. So instead I'm going to try and take a different tact.

Firstly I'm going to pick a niche. I'm going to do brain storms, have long walks, talks, I'm going to do everything possible to discover my passions again, my dreams.

Alongside this I'm going to rediscover my Buddhism, I need to reacquaint myself with my practise and appreciate the importance of cultivating inner contentment as opposed to focusing on my current situation.

Thirdly I'm going to find a job, any job and not be ashamed that its not exactly my career aspiration, as long as I'm working towards something then the graft is merely an essential step towards attaining that goal.

And finally I am going to remember to find joy in being, of enduring and never giving up:

'Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved'

- Helen Keller

P.s. A surf film to inspire...