Fish out of water.

You'll have to forgive my incessant blogging of late, I'll be back doing dawn til dusk shifts at work so I'm thought purging while I have the opportunity! 

Today I want to talk about fish. 

Allow me to elaborate... 

In between speck of dust and chest beating monkey there was a fish with a neck and the beginnings of wrists. Out of the water the fish emerged onto the land of unknown and thus our journey began. So you could say we have a lot to be grateful towards this little fish with big aspirations. 

We are 73% water, so I wonder, are those who chose to surf connecting to some deep set history in the ocean? I know in the context of my own life surfing has felt like a baptism, every time I come from the water I am cleansed, renewed if you will. 

Sometimes I think it takes reflecting on our pasts to understand the potential of our futures. 
During a coffee out with a friend she paused, looked me straight in the eye and said; 

'You just want to be loved don't you.' 

It was the kind of comment that left me speechless for a few seconds, you see this is the thing with friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself and are able to look upon the parameters of your life with an all seeing eye, whilst you blunder around in a fog of your own manufacture. I'd been nonchalantly filling her in about a few hiccups this week and relaying my dismay for negativity surrounding my decision to go volunteer in South Africa on a surf project. Through this she'd been able to weave together the pieces of my monologue and deduce a conclusion that perhaps isn't that far off. 

I met up with my ex boyfriend this week, one of the lovely ones, who despite all our trials and tribulations I still have a lot of respect for. Even though our destines won't entwine in a romantic sense he reminded me of connecting to someone on a deeper level, a way which cannot be manufactured by simply being intimate. After our meeting I got a nice text off him and once again I was reminded of politeness which should exist between two people. 

I do want to be loved, I might not be ready for all the things a relationship entails but deep down I foster the hope of connecting to someone, of unbridled love which nourishes and inspires (as well as all the boring stuff like forgetting to do the washing up, getting comfortable enough to fart around each other and arguing about whose turn it is to walk the dog)! 

In reply to my friends observation I had the following to say. 

'I'm just missing the ocean,' 

Which is true. 

Somewhere between being slapped in the face by a wave and gliding on my board I become realigned. I stop being pathetic I just come back to myself, reinforce all the parts which make me, me. 

I guess I'm a fish out of water who fell in love with the ocean again. 

Until next time 

Stay strong, surf well 

Love