Listening to British Sea Power:
When a warm wind blows through the grass.
Somewhere on the M40 between London and Birmingham I started to meditate. I was returning from a day out in the capital having gone to see Matt, a kindred spirit from my University days.
Over cups of tea (he had a coffee), we mused about the hopeless dreamers we once were, him the intrepid traveler and me the hippie chick, both of us so full of idealism. We're still those people just a little stronger, a little wearier perhaps.
Fueled by our conversations I was inspired to reflect and dedicate some time to trying to figure out my true desires, what I want out of life, what it is I'm striving for exactly. Finally phone less (the battery died) and mp3 player free I had the time and space to delve into the alcoves of my mind and try to discover what it is I yearn for (and try to overcome my endless career turmoil)!
At the end of my life I want to feel that I have loved well. I want to surround myself with dear people and find a purpose I can dedicate myself to. I want to love what I do and feel a sense of fulfillment and whilst I know I'll endure pain and suffering, (that is an inevitable part of life), I'll be looking for lessons to be learnt.
What I hope for is being able to identify my desires and overcome my fears. Above all I want to open my heart so I have the capacity to love deeply and without borders.
During my meditation I (unsurprisingly) found myself in the ocean. I imagined every minute detail from the exertion in my arms to the somersault my belly has when I manage to stand up successfully. I visualized myself surfing well, feeling confident in my turning and I resurfaced from my meditation smiling. Whilst surfing certainly isn't something I talked about to my careers adviser in school I realize its become something of a driving force in my life.
With all the self belief in the world I know I can't make a career out of being a professional surfer, I'm not good enough! Neither am I skilled in something complimentary such as photography, or graphic design.
My passion is and will always be (to a greater or lesser extent) animals, wildlife, nature. Pocahontus and The Lion King will always be my favorite Disney films, I'm not scared of being in woods by myself, hearing seagulls makes me smile, I'll always look for pavement flowers and I will irreovocably, until the end of time, be filled with immeasurable happiness when I am out in wilderness.
I keep thinking turning down the Wildlife Conservation masters was the wrong decision. The decision was made for me because I am poor and masters are expensive, I wish education wasn't as cut and dry as this but money = academia. I'm not sure if I want to try and be a vet, or a wildlife conservationist I just want to do something environmentally minded. I feel low that my dreams are tapered by finances that quite frankly terrify me. £9000 a year. Geez.
So. I go walking and try to clear my head. The dreams are tangible I just need to figure out the details.
And breathe.
Reflections.
When a warm wind blows through the grass.
Over cups of tea (he had a coffee), we mused about the hopeless dreamers we once were, him the intrepid traveler and me the hippie chick, both of us so full of idealism. We're still those people just a little stronger, a little wearier perhaps.
Fueled by our conversations I was inspired to reflect and dedicate some time to trying to figure out my true desires, what I want out of life, what it is I'm striving for exactly. Finally phone less (the battery died) and mp3 player free I had the time and space to delve into the alcoves of my mind and try to discover what it is I yearn for (and try to overcome my endless career turmoil)!
At the end of my life I want to feel that I have loved well. I want to surround myself with dear people and find a purpose I can dedicate myself to. I want to love what I do and feel a sense of fulfillment and whilst I know I'll endure pain and suffering, (that is an inevitable part of life), I'll be looking for lessons to be learnt.
What I hope for is being able to identify my desires and overcome my fears. Above all I want to open my heart so I have the capacity to love deeply and without borders.
During my meditation I (unsurprisingly) found myself in the ocean. I imagined every minute detail from the exertion in my arms to the somersault my belly has when I manage to stand up successfully. I visualized myself surfing well, feeling confident in my turning and I resurfaced from my meditation smiling. Whilst surfing certainly isn't something I talked about to my careers adviser in school I realize its become something of a driving force in my life.
With all the self belief in the world I know I can't make a career out of being a professional surfer, I'm not good enough! Neither am I skilled in something complimentary such as photography, or graphic design.
My passion is and will always be (to a greater or lesser extent) animals, wildlife, nature. Pocahontus and The Lion King will always be my favorite Disney films, I'm not scared of being in woods by myself, hearing seagulls makes me smile, I'll always look for pavement flowers and I will irreovocably, until the end of time, be filled with immeasurable happiness when I am out in wilderness.
I keep thinking turning down the Wildlife Conservation masters was the wrong decision. The decision was made for me because I am poor and masters are expensive, I wish education wasn't as cut and dry as this but money = academia. I'm not sure if I want to try and be a vet, or a wildlife conservationist I just want to do something environmentally minded. I feel low that my dreams are tapered by finances that quite frankly terrify me. £9000 a year. Geez.
So. I go walking and try to clear my head. The dreams are tangible I just need to figure out the details.
And breathe.
Reflections.
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| Hello Birmingham. |
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| <3 |
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