Show & Tell.

Show. 

Listening non stop to Zap Mama - Brrrlak!  

I'd like to take the opportunity to show you some of the art work I've been doing lately. I've started incessantly drawing African tribal women which makes me think I'll end up on the continent sometime soon. Africa makes me feral, even though I'm as English as it comes, there's something about the place which always feels like I'm going home. I wish I could explain it better than that but Africa its a feeling, an energy. I guess your just going to have to go to see for yourself! 

   



































These are incomplete and preliminary sketches for a bigger piece I'd like to do, but you can see where I'm going with this! Below are some marine ink sketches I've been doing for some surf pieces I'd like to try and do also. 

Tell.

So anyway let me tell you about my day. 

Quite unusually I found myself off on a Monday, a strange situation to find oneself in when practically everyone else I know is busy off to work. I got up feeling guilty as most other instances of been off on a Monday has been due to unemployment. By my last mouthful of Ready Brek I was starting to panic - my time is sacred, I must do something, I can't be bored, please don't let me waste this day! What on earth am I going to do? There's no one to hang out with until later - Gah! Suddenly my Monday seemed like a barren and boredom filled wasteland. 

So I did what I always do when I have things to mull over, I threw on some old clothes, grabbed the dog and took said reluctant jack russell for a walk over the canals. I purposefully left my music player at home, today I wanted to hear the birds and connect a little with my immediate environment. It did the trick and by the end of the walk I had found solace. 
I decided you know what it's time for a 'me' day! 

So I went to the cinema - by myself. Its such an alien concept to walk into a cinema and ask for one ticket and you cant help but feel a little bit sad when you do so. I had to stop myself from giving the cashier girl my entire life history and an explanation as to why I was at the cinemas on a Monday afternoon by myself. Once you get over the initial feeling of having a giant neon arrow over your head you actually start to enjoy yourself. 

Solo cinema trips are one of my guilty pleasures, if I go to the cinemas with someone else I usually want to talk to them or if I'm being perfectly honest make out (ahem)! So it was kind of awesome to go and actually appreciate the film I was watching ('I give it a year' but more about that later)! 

Afterwards I went to a coffee shop where I started composing this blog post. Coffee shops are my ULTIMATE guilty pleasure, I love sitting nursing a soy cappuccino watching the world go by. Its a habit I developed in childhood, me and my dad who most often than not were left bored and waiting for my mom and sisters to finish shopping, would go find a bench to people watch from (neither me nor my dad relish shopping). It was our time to bond I guess.

I finished the day rock climbing with a friend and whilst it was awesome to have a catch up I've enjoyed immensely having time to myself. I think all too often we're afraid to be alone, to have time to reflect and be bored but this is where our curiosity lives in the moments where we are forced into contemplation. I can admit to always wanting to be busy and purposeful but sometimes its good to be the complete opposite of that. I often find myself wishing for these empty days of endless possibility, especially when I dream of living by the sea - imagine being able to go for a cheeky surf session and having all day to do so! 

So anyway. 

The film I watched was a little British number called 

'I Give It A Year' 

It fits into the romcom genre with some pretty cringe worthy parts but is totally not what you expect. I really enjoyed it and you find yourself rooting for the characters you didn't think you'd like! 

I reckon that in the aftermath of a breakup its expected I find comfort in slush like said film, which I suppose is somewhat ironic because its probably the exact opposite of what you need. I don't want to talk too candidly about my relationship but I do wish to be honest. Other than missing the person I think its the companionship I miss the most. You become someone's friend and hearing about their day becomes a feature of your own. I find myself wanting to tell my ex things, insignificant things and have to remind myself he probably doesn't need a monologue of my everyday observations!! 

I think all things considered we broke up pretty well, we're civil, friendly and very kind to each other if that makes any sense. I don't know if in the long run that makes things harder but I appreciate that we're both trying to be gracious. I think its pretty obvious I miss him, that's normal, but like the initial anxiety felt of going to the cinema by yourself, you have to try and embrace being alone because you might just learn a few things. I'm lucky that I loved at all and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat - love makes a person. 

Well that's enough rambling for one night. 

Stay Strong and Surf well! 

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