Precipice.

It is precisely 9 days until the next trip with the Land Locked Surfers Club.Stoked doesn't even begin to explain how excited I am about the prospect of Croyde Bay, the caravan and people who make the world feel wonderful!

I sometimes wonder if I did indeed achieve the dream of living by the ocean, whether my sense of awe would dull with familiarity? Every time I embark on a trip out of the city, my gratefulness builds with every mile we draw closer to the coast. 

And the moment just before I wade into the ocean to being a new surf session, I force myself to stop and exhale. I make myself hold onto that feeling of wonderment before allowing myself the pleasure of surfing until I'm bone weary and goofy happy. 

There is something to be said about delayed gratification, of having the patience and trusting enough that the universe will unfold as it should. For me this is never more apt than when talking about surfing. I don't have the luxury of several days a week, or even a weekend to go, for me surfing is at best big monthly trips away, or a random day in the week (depending on whether my coastal friend will have me)! 

Does this make me any less of a surfer? 

I guess the jury is out on that one but I certainly feel like I'm a surfer. The dull ache I have every time I leave the coast is a yearning that I've learnt to manage. It makes me work that little bit harder at my job, because I imagine my wages paying for train fare or accommodation  When I become disillusioned or sad I conjure images of myself bobbing on my board and suddenly life seems that little bit better. 

I am always very honest with you dear reader and sometimes I worry that I am too 'out there' as you have read all shades of mood. I'm not however a 2D plastic character, I emote and I think by exploring my vulnerabilities I connect and help other people identify. I hope that impressions of me paint a person who is not afraid to embrace her fears and by doing so makes herself stronger because of it. 

Surfing really did save my life and I believe that this sense of awe can be extended out to vulnerable youth in my own community. As much as I want to escape to the country, I know my city needs me. 

Yesterday I made contact with a refugee youth group who are ecstatic at my idea to take young people to the ocean to learn how to surf. Now the real work starts, the fundraising, the trying to get all the important details to come together in order to make my vision happen. 

I am on a precipice in many senses and I am scared, happy, exhilarated  inspired and ready. Boy am I ready! 

Until next time, 

Stay strong and surf well. 

Love Sophia