The space inbetween.

I stare at this painting for 7 hours a day.
I love my job and I love this painting. 

Between 23:59 and 00:01 something magical happened. In the few seconds it took to disrobe from 2012 and step into 2013 all old hurts evaporated. It was as though my soul got exfoliated so much so I'm actually finding it hard to sleep for all the excitement. What keeps me awake is the sheer possibilities available in the long stretch of another new year, dreams are suddenly tangible. 

2012 

In reflection the most perplexing thing about 2012 was the feeling that I had lost my passion. Endless job hunting which bore little fruit made me feel aimless. Only in the latter part of the year did I realize that this normal graduate behavior, we all enter the brief vortex of not knowing what to do. The cure I found to this inertia is simply being, trying to force myself into picking a path only caused me to panic and be even less decisive. Often when we back away from a problem and have space to breathe, answers reveal themselves. For me it meant deviating and taking work from alternative sources. I signed up to a temp agency and have been working fairly frequently at the art gallery and museum in town.

I also recently attended an interview for a support worker job I completely forgot about. Although not part of my original plan I went and fell in love with the place and no sooner had I opened myself up to the possibility of other things I came across a masters course of my dreams, 'Global Wildlife Health and Conservation.' 

After two years of deliberating I've finally found what I want to do and completely by accident identified the logical steps I'll need to take to get there. The plan (if all goes well) is to work hard as a support worker (and refugee youth leader still), until October then start the Conservation course in Bristol. However if this plan falls through I've learnt that I must simply pick myself up and dust myself off because resilience is what separates success from failure. 

Antonio, said a profound thing the other day whilst at our usual haunt (Cafe Soya);

"For 2013 I'm striving for state of mind. Happiness can be fleeting but if you develop a positive state of mind you'll be resilient."

I'm paraphrasing a bit but that was the general gist of the conversation (he later put chopsticks under his top lip like a walrus...) In 2012 I concentrated too much on wanting to be seen to be doing stuff, but its not what you do it's who you are inherently what is important. In 2012 I lived in Ethiopia for three months, interned at Responding to Conflict, worked, didn't work and through it all realized my heart lies where it always has done, in wildlife conservation and surfing. 

So dear readers I wish you gumption for the dreams yet to be accomplished and perseverance for hardships yet to be endured. Good luck for 2013. 

New years Shenanigans! 

Me and a few friends decided to pack light and spend New years in the middle of nowhere (i.e. Wales). As you can see from the pictures we had a really great time getting away from it all, back to nature :) 

Happy New Year! 

P.s. I will at some point make a montage of 2012 but I neither have the time nor energy so please bear with me! 

P.s.s. If you need motivation check out Antonio's year in review, he makes you realize your not working hard enough! 

Hellocatfood