Woah Woman.

Is it me or can worrying feel like a full time profession? This thinking is largely derived from a TEDx talk by Sam Achor (which you can see here), within his speech Sam discussed how happiness is measured by success. The trouble with success is that the goal posts are constantly moved, so you get good sales targets, you have to get better, you get good grades you have to get better grades and so on. 

I resonated so much with this idea, I've gotten into the University I wanted to, to do the course I've been working towards for two years. Not only that but its near the surfing beach which brings me back to myself. Rather than concentrating on the massive opportunities at hand, I am dwelling on thoughts like it's going to be too difficult, I'm going to miss home, its going to be too hard for Mr Sunny and I to keep a relationship going. Blah, blah, bloody blah. 

Why do we sabotage our potential for happiness by recycling old fears and insecurities? 

In Tibet Buddhist monks create something called Mandalas, which are beautiful intricate designs they make with sand. Creating this beautiful artwork takes hours of dedication and commitment, at the end of which it gets wiped clean. Mandalas are a metaphor teaching us that everything is temporary, once you accept this you can begin living more in the present and not get lost thinking about the past of the future. 

Speaking of past. 

I'm loving the vintage revival in fashion at the moment, the beautiful styles of eras gone by combined with the empowered woman of today is, in my mind, a great combination. I have some vintage inspired shoots coming up soon, for now here's a picture Mr Sunny took of me whilst we attempted to row in Stratford Upon Avon. We were both awful. We nearly trespassed in a nature reserve, we crashed into a river liner, got caught in a current and got laughed at by people on the bridges, its safe to say we are not natural rowers. That being said near death is a very good bonding experience and Mr Sunny and I held each other like survivors when we finally got back on dry land, such fun! 

  



































I shouldn't be wearing this dress, I'm selling it on ebay but I couldn't resist one last outing as the little Cadillac car design seemed so cute to wear in this random bit of sunshine we're having! 

Anywho. Until next time... 

Stay strong and surf well 
Love

Chasing the wave.

'You were once wild here. Don't let them tame you.' 
                                                                         - Isadora Duncan

Is it a bit too obvious to use the metaphor of chasing waves as a homily to life?  Perhaps, but I do think water nicely illustrates the struggles we endure for those small moments of happiness (or when we manage to pop up nicely onto our board and travel down the face of a wave -wipe out free)!

Bob Dylan once wrote 'the wild unknown...where I could do no wrong,' the expanse of uncharted waters, places we've never been before. It is the wilderness of yet another decision that I find myself in and characteristically that familiar indecisiveness resurfaces. 

Every fiber of my body feels poised and ready for change, for years I have talked and waxed lyrical about adventure, about wanting to live voraciously and every time I have come to a juncture where change is a real possibility I retreated back into my day dreaming and found excuses not to do these things. The worst thing is I feel like its becoming a habit. When I have ideas I see my family and friends look upwards for half a second and I know instantly they think its another false start, Sophia is hypothesizing again. I don't blame them, I talk A LOT about things that I hope to accomplish, that I think might work. Sometimes ideas naturally come to a conclusion, something doesn't work out or it isn't feasible realistically. But more often than not I get cold feet and back out as opposed to real barriers being in my way. 

Dear reader, it must feel there's a lot of smoke and mirrors to this conversation today so please allow me to elaborate. Yesterday I traveled down to Bristol for a job interview. It was with another care company except this role is as an enabler, which basically means I'd be helping people with learning difficulties live independent lives i.e. getting jobs, meaningful activities and integrating into the community. The minute I walked into the place things clicked, I got on with the interviewers like a house of fire and I stayed an extra twenty minutes afterwards just talking with them about life. 

I really loved the vibe of the place and as I walked around Bristol I could see myself fashioning a life there. During a property search I even found a cottage with it's own horses I can borrow! One of the interviewers told me she's Devon based and commutes in,  -potentially I could be as little as 40 minutes away from the ocean - eventually when I have my driving license whose not to say its me that lives in Devon and commutes into Bristol! 

 (Below) Wall art from around Bristol City. 

I left Bristol feeling exuberant and certain of my decision to relocate. Its getting me in the right place for the masters, its an adventure and its independent living all the things I'm striving for. 

Except I didn't think about the realities of long distance on my relationship. I think I've suppressed thoughts about the logistics of a move to Bristol because I needed to understand my own motivations first. Do I really want put my fledgling relationship under that kind of pressure. Antonio has been wonderful, I mean he's been so supportive and has said adamantly that I should follow my dreams - he's kind of wonderful like that. 

In a way that's made things harder because the decision really is down to me now. I've had a little negative feedback about moving, I guess people can't understand why I'm uprooting my life to go do a job that's very similar to the one I've got here. 

Partly its because it means I can volunteer at Bristol Zoo, earn more money, set myself up for the masters I hope to accomplish next year. But its also for the adventure of it, for the challenge. Travel acts as a mirror, it reflects back your strengths and weaknesses and helps you find that innate power we all have curdling under the surface. 

I have this knot in my stomach, its time for me to make another decision and I flounder at the thought of taking action. I've grown up in a generation where we have too many choices, too many paths to investigate. I adore the freedom of choice but on occasion the infinite possibilities are overwhelming. 

I'm about to go for a run which I hope will bring me some clarity. We have to be kind to ourselves don't we so when there's decisions to be made we are in the right frame of mind to make the best choice for ourselves. 

Until next time 

Stay strong, surf well 

Love Sophia 

Me attempting to row in Stratford-upon-Avon 

I found this under my bed a box of dog things I'd collected for when I have my own dog! 

Extreme yoga! 

Boating & Butterflies (Stratford-upon-Avon).

Here's a round up of some of the things I've been getting up to during my blogging absence.    

 Stratford-upon-Avon - a beautiful riverside town in which to wile away some hours.

 

My good friends Emily and Craig kindly rowing whilst I didn't! 

 The Butterfly Farm Stratford-upon-Avon 

 The Vintage Bike Ride, Birmingham 2013

Random moments from around Birmingham.

Antonio touring with Glitch Art (what he's famous for)!

Rocking climbing summed up by three things.

Vegan sustenance nom nom! 

Ginger tea and gorilla conservation.

Until next time my beloved mermaids, water babies and land lubbers! 

Stay strong, surf well! 

x